3 Friends. 3 Beers. 3 Miles.

 

Hitting the Pints & the Pavement

By Jillian Owens
August 15, 2013

3 Beers/3 Miles! the press release advertised (or perhaps commanded).  I enjoyed the first half of the headline, and groaned at the second half.  The Old Mill Brewpub in Lexington and Beyond Running were having their 2nd Annual Beer Run.  The idea was pretty straightforward.  Show up.  Drink a beer.  Run to a bar a mile away.  Drink another beer.  Run to yet another bar.  Drink an additional beer.  Run back to Old Mill Brewpub where you will likely slam a victory beer and windmill high fives a la Top Gun (wait…that’s 4 beers, guys)!

Don’t worry.  After the first 3 you won’t be counting

Being a lover of ridiculous challenges that I’m totally unprepared to handle, I knew I HAD to do this.  There was only one slight problem.  I’m not a runner.  I’m not actually into any kind of cardio at all.  Sure, I manage to keep up in my geriatric yoga class (some of those 80-year-olds are flippin’ bendy, y’all!), but if it involves sweating, No Thanks.  But for some reason, this seemed doable.  3 miles.  With a beer break between each mile.  How hard could it be?

As I prepared for the run, mostly by listening to the theme from Chariots of Fire, I talked my boyfriend (another running hater) into joining me.  It’s the hottest day of the year, he pointed out.   We’re going to die, he added for emphasis.  When our friend Bob (actual jogger) heard about our plans, he wanted to join too! 

I showed up at the event dressed in my most runner-looking outfit, expecting to see just a bunch of average-looking people in average shape.  Instead, I stumbled into a room of gazelle-like creatures with serious body-hugging, moisture-wicking gear and running shoes that probably cost more than my weekly food budget.  These superior beings were surprisingly friendly and welcoming!  

I totally look like a runner…in the 1980’s. 

We were all given maps of the route and our first beer of the run.  A couple of really serious guys who I wouldn’t want to see in a touch football game slammed their pints and bolted out the door.  My cohorts and I looked at each other quizzically, as we leisurely sipped ours.  After a few minutes, we sprinted off as well!

 
We SO have this!

During the first block, I went from elation, to doubt, then shifted to regret.  I doubt running in the scorching heat with a pint of lager in your belly is something any marathoner does.  I felt like I had swallowed a pint of lead.  I grasped my stomach, held back the bile that threatened to sully the sidewalks of Downtown Lexington, and we finally made it to the next bar.

 
Time for Beer #2!

I had never been to the Keg Cowboy before.  I thought it was just a place to buy homebrew supplies and the like.  I was surprised to see a comfy, if rustic, bar with a handful of interesting beers on tap.  The owner told us they feature live music on occasion and they’re dog-friendly!  Aren’t you guys supposed to be…running or something? the owner asked after about half an hour. 

Ugh!

During the next mile, I began to give up all hopes of taking this running thing seriously.  I jogged, walked, skipped, and jumped to the next location, FATZ on East Main St.   We were 2/3 of the way done, which filled us with great pride.

 
Time for Beer #3!

Unfortunately, I was in a state of great agony.

 
Just shoot me now.

I was dripping with sweat, my side hurt, my stomach churned, and all I wanted was a cool shower and a nap.

3 beers.  3 miles.  How could something that sounded so easy become such a herculean task? 

I just had to make it through the final mile.  Literally.  That’s where my car was parked, and I wouldn’t be able to get home otherwise.  As I slogged through the first few blocks of the last leg of my journey, something happened.  My legs that had been feeling increasing weighed down felt light and powerful!  That pain in my side was gone!  I was euphoric! 

Whoa!  You guys!  I think I’m experiencing a runner’s high! I shouted to my companions.  That mysterious feeling that I always assumed runners were lying about was real!  And it was happening to me!  Okay…so maybe my sudden feeling of well-being had more to do with the fact that I weigh about 100 pounds and had just consumed 3 pints, but who cares?  I was going to finish this! 

As the Old Mill Brewpub came into view, I ran faster than I ever have in my life!  I ran right up to that bar and pantingly ordered my victory pint!

Cheers!

Does any of this sound fun to you?  If so, you should meet up at The Old Mill Pub in Lexington, where I was told a group gets together every Monday at 6pm to run.  You won’t be stopping every mile for a beer (It’s for the best, trust me), but it is a fun chance to meet new people, get a good workout, and have a post-run pint!
Cheers!

 

Jillian Owens is a writer, designer, motivational speaker, and eco-fashion revolutionary.   A Columbia SC transplant, she graduated from the University of South Carolina with a BFA in Theatre and English.  When she’s not gallivanting about, she’s busy refashioning ugly thrift store duds into fashionable frocks at ReFashionista.net.  Jillian has been featured on The Rachael Ray Show, Good Afternoon America, ABC Columbia, Jasper Magazine, Skirt, Columbia Metropolitan, The Free Times, Grist, and NYC’s Guest of a Guest.  She also reviews local theater productions for Jasper Magazine and Onstage Columbia.

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