4 steps for actual change in life

By Brian Maynor

 

All too often the motivation for change ends almost as quickly as it began.

Think about all the times we’ve wanted to change something in our lives and got to the point of planning how we were going to implement that change only to see those plan die on the vine.

If this sounds like your history with change, rest assured you’re not alone.  Change is often a goal that is seldom realized, until now.

Here are four easy actions we can all take that are proven to implement change even we are feeling tired and lazy:

1.   Give up motivation and just show up.  This is probably the last thing you would expect to hear when trying to implement change, but think about all the times we have tried to motivate ourselves with promises, bribes or even elaborate, detailed plans of action and they have all failed.  The reason it never works is because motivation is an emotion, and a very unreliable one at best.

Instead of focusing on motivation we need to simply put ourselves in the best possible environment for the change we want to see.  For example, if we want to lose weight, simply commit to walking into the gym three days a week, or if we want a new relationship we need to attend events for singles.  It may not sound like we’re doing much by simply showing up, but environments are incredibly influential to our behavior.

2.    Build your team.  Everyone has at least one social media account, so it’s time to put it to work for us, instead of just filling our boredom.   Open one and send a message to just one person with whom we have a positive connection asking them to commit to meeting us for once a week with the goal of helping hold us accountable to make (x change).  Of course, we will buy the food/coffee/etc. and all they need to do is show up.  The goal after all is not socializing, but creating accountability.

Obviously we want to choose an environment that is conductive to the change we are trying to make, but by including another person or two we are increasing the likelihood of success.  When we try to implement change alone it is all too easy to cheat, skip a session and eventually give up all together because there’s no one else to know or care.  By building a team of support and accountability, we have other people watching us, inspiring us and chastising us for slacking off.

3.    Upgrade our habits.  Our habits can either help us achieve our goals or stop them before they start, so we need to treat them like we do old clothes.   When a shirt gets worn out we replace it, and that’s exactly how we need to look at our habits.

Habits are ingrained over time, so to replace them we have to give ourselves just as much time, and start small.  As tempting as it is to want to jump to the end goal, we know from experience that seldom works.  Taking on too much change too quickly is a surefire way of abandoning it as soon as it begins.  Instead, make a small change first and associate it with something we already do.  That is the key.  By tying the new habit to an old one we are more likely to practice the new habit consistently, which is how we form habits.  No motivation is required here.  It is simply the power of repetition to train our brains to do something new.

4.    Remove distractions.  So often we think that change means adding something new to our lives, but in reality it could just mean removing things that distract us.  The easiest way to identify distractors is to objectively look at how we spend our time.  I bet in one day we could identify our patterns and find multiple ways to cut out distractions.

Changing our lives for the better is something we should all aspire to do, but it is not something we can do alone, and doesn’t always mean taking on more.  Sometimes if we want to change we need to let go of things and actually do less.

I’m always excited to hear from you, so please email your questions, quandaries and conundrums to [email protected].

 

About Brian Maynor

Brian Maynor has built a reputation as one of the leading style coaches in the Southeast and is quickly expanding his eponymous company, BRIAN MAYNOR and his FIND, FLATTER & FLAUNT line of image consulting services. A professional with a fresh, upbeat and down-to-earth personality and boundless creative energy, he works frequently with with local celebrities; Fortune 500 companies and nonprofit organizations; modeling agencies; fashion designers; production companies; record labels; media and individuals. A regular contributor to various fashion blogs and online communities, Brian Maynor is one of the most trusted and recognized style experts in the region, utilizing his education and training as a broadcast journalist to serve as a style lecturer, emcee, and commentator for over a decade. He has appeared at fashion shows, expos, and charity fundraisers, as well as events with big brands like Banana Republic, Ann Taylor, Chico’s and Macy’s. His approach is innovative, creative and fashion-forward, balancing fresh, modern styles with classic pieces to keep one’s look grounded. To learn more, visit http://www.brianmaynor.com.

 

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