6 Tips For Controlling Your Body Language
May 23, 2017
By Brian Maynor
Interpreting body language is something we do all the time, sometimes it’s consciously and sometimes it’s not, and the same is true for how we use our body language.
Remember a time when you weren’t able to get your idea across, no matter how hard you tried. Chances are your body language was a factor in the frustration. We make so many of our gestures subconsciously, especially when we are speaking, that we are often unaware of them unless someone points them out or we watch ourselves in a video.
Here are six tips to help you correlate your gestures with your words that are just as effective in everyday conversations as they are in presentations. Plus they give you a guide to use for practicing:
1. The Box. We all know someone who loves to talk with their hands, which is funny when you’re telling a story, but not so great when you’re trying to appear truthful or trustworthy. Making big, wide gestures often comes across as being untrustworthy because we associate the exaggerated movements with exaggerating the truth. So if your arms tend to get away from you, imagine a box in front of your chest and belly and confine your gestures within it.
2. Holding The Ball. It may surprise you to know that grasping your hands around an imaginary ball is interpreted as commanding, confident and in control. The mind correlates the gesture to ‘having the facts at your fingertips’. No wonder Steve Jobs used this gesture a lot during his speeches.
3. Pyramid Hands. Nerves often play out in our hand movements, causing us to fidget excessively. One way to prevent this is to form a loose pyramid with your fingers. This gives your hands something to do, and is particularly effective when you’re speaking while sitting down. One caveat for this tip is to be aware of your facial expressions. The goal is to appear relaxed, not smug so you want to avoid any looks that appear domineering or arrogant.
4. Wide Stance. I like to walk and talk. It makes me feel more comfortable and gives me a way of working out excess energy while engaging more of the audience in a conversation, but sometimes that isn’t always available. When you find yourself confined to a single spot when speaking be sure to place your feet shoulder width apart. Not only is this a signal of control, it will actually help you feel more in control. When our legs are too close together, we tend to continuously shift our weight back and forth, which is an indicator of insecurity and anxiety.
5. Palms Up. This gesture is associated with honesty and openness. It’s a powerful tool to use when you’re trying to connect with people in a sincere way, whether that connection is to an individual or crowd. This is especially helpful for authority figures or anyone seen as a powerful and influential figure when they need to balance that power with compassion.
6. Palms Down. While this sign of dominance and assertiveness can seem out of place as a positive gesture, it can be used to signal strength and authority, especially when dealing with an unruly audience; whether that’s from a rousing speech or upsetting situation.
The visual elements of our communication, how we stand; use our hands; and our facial expressions, are very powerful components of the message we send every time we speak. It doesn’t matter if that’s to one person or during a presentation. To truly control our message we have to be in control of our body language and that starts with knowing our current habits and how to address them.
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About Brian Maynor
Brian Maynor has built a reputation as one of the leading style coaches in the Southeast and is quickly expanding his eponymous company, BRIAN MAYNOR and his FIND, FLATTER & FLAUNT line of image consulting services. A professional with a fresh, upbeat and down-to-earth personality and boundless creative energy, he works frequently with with local celebrities; Fortune 500 companies and nonprofit organizations; modeling agencies; fashion designers; production companies; record labels; media and individuals. A regular contributor to various fashion blogs and online communities, Brian Maynor is one of the most trusted and recognized style experts in the region, utilizing his education and training as a broadcast journalist to serve as a style lecturer, emcee, and commentator for over a decade. He has appeared at fashion shows, expos, and charity fundraisers, as well as events with big brands like Banana Republic, Ann Taylor, Chico’s and Macy’s. His approach is innovative, creative and fashion-forward, balancing fresh, modern styles with classic pieces to keep one’s look grounded. To learn more, visit http://www.brianmaynor.com.
