Bad Office Behavior: The Worst Workplace Jerks

By Mike DuBose and Blake DuBose

 

Americans spend a large chunk of their days at work: typically, 8 hours per workday, 5 days per week. This adds up to about 90,000 hours over the average person’s lifetime, according to Business Insider! That means that we pass a lot of time in the presence of our coworkers, which can be a blessing or a curse, depending on the people within the team. Some people are lucky to have a positive “work family” that is a source of support and encouragement, but for others, difficult personalities in the workplace lead to conflicts, poor-quality work, and misery!

Every person is different, but in the course of in-person interviews and online research, we observed patterns of behavior that divide bad coworkers into several distinct categories. Business leaders should be wary of allowing any of these workplace offenders on their teams…or even exhibiting these behaviors themselves! Here are the most frequently complained-about offenders:

The Office Gossip: Looking for the latest dish on your coworkers’ personal and professional lives? Look no further than the Office Gossip. They make it their life’s mission to know everything about everyone! After all, information is power, right? It doesn’t matter that turning people against each other is bad for morale, or even if the stories he or she is telling are true. The Office Gossip is much more interested in the entertainment gleaned from spreading rumors and juicy information than in worrying about things like being productive, meeting deadlines, or pleasing customers!

The Slob: Like a tornado, this person leaves any common space they’re in—breakroom, office area, bathroom, and supply room alike—an absolute mess. Other employees often try to prevent the damage by posting reminders (i.e. “PLEASE wipe the microwave out after using it!”), but the slob either doesn’t realize he or she’s the target…or simply doesn’t care. Slobs’ disregard for shared spaces offends their coworkers and can lead to passive-aggressive note or e-mail wars!

The Noise Machine: You may hear Noise Machines before you see them: they’re known for making a variety of unpleasant sounds that make their coworkers’ stomachs turn and eyeballs twitch. The most common complaints include: loud chewing and smacking while eating; constant throat-clearing, coughing, and nose-blowing; blaring music; and annoying ringtones or text notifications going off every ten minutes. Multiple individuals noted one particularly disgusting noise they’d heard coworkers make in the office: the clipping sound of someone trimming their toenails at their desk!

The Talker: This person isn’t as malicious as the Office Gossip, but can easily be as detrimental to productivity. He or she spends a good part of the workday making conversation completely unrelated to the job, whether it’s during one of many personal phone calls made on company time or long chat sessions at the water cooler. Most of them roam from one office to another, sharing stories about their personal problems, children, and relatives. Of course, it’s great to have friends at the office, but there’s a point where personal conversations seriously impede productivity of both the talker and the person being distracted.

The Hothead: No one should be afraid to go into their jobs. However, those who work with a Hothead live in constant fear of a screaming fit, perhaps with some computer kicking or office supply throwing added for emphasis. Obviously, a Hothead should be quickly removed by management…unless the Hothead is the boss, an unfortunately frequent occurrence in many of the stories we heard!

The Black Hole of Negativity: No matter how great a work environment is—or how fortunate their lives are—Black Holes always find something to complain about. Their gloomy attitudes, fault-finding tendencies, and critical outlooks spill over into how they perform their jobs…and can also impact the feelings of the entire office! According to a Harvard Business Review article by Caroline Webb, “Psychologists have found that one person in a negative mood transmits their angst to others nearby within five minutes—even when they aren’t speaking to each other or working together.” Some go even further, actively trying to recruit others to share in the negativity!

The Slacker: Few types of people breed workplace resentment faster than Slackers, whose inability (or, more commonly, lack of drive) to do their jobs means that others must work harder and longer to get things done. This can often cause good employees to leave, as Jim Collins noted in his bestseller Good to Great: “Letting the wrong people hang around is unfair to all the right people, as they inevitably find themselves compensating for the inadequacies of the wrong people. Worse, it can drive away the best people. Strong performers are intrinsically motivated by performance, and when they see their efforts impeded by carrying extra weight, they eventually become frustrated.” Indeed, many employees cited managers’ failure to remove Slackers as one of their top complaints.

The Attention Hog: On the other side of the spectrum from the Slacker, the Attention Hog clamors to take on any and all projects…and, of course, the credit for completing them (whether it’s earned or not)! Attention Hogs tend to be one-uppers, always chiming in with a story where they did something better, faster, or smarter. Needless to say, Attention Hogs are not known for their listening skills or ability to work as part of a team, and they often frustrate their peers with their selfishness and dominating personalities.

The Food Thief: For most normal adults, this goes without saying, but since it seems shockingly prevalent in workplaces today, we want to address it: do not take your coworkers’ food without permission. Sure, it’s less offensive to use a dash of someone’s coffee creamer than to purloin their coveted leftover lasagna, but you should always ask first. If human decency isn’t enough of a reason, how about this: habitual victims have been known to lace their lunches with super-spicy peppers or hot sauce to punish thieves!

The bottom line: When people spend extended amounts of time together, personalities can sometimes clash, and offices are no exception. If you have created a strong, caring culture with the right people in the positions that best fit their skills and strengths, conflicts are likely to become helpful learning opportunities that help the team grow. However, if your workplace contains any of the offenders we have described, your team is likely struggling, and your business may be headed for disaster if you don’t make changes…fast!

Do you know of any “office jerks” we missed? Visit www.mikedubose.com/contact and tell us about them! Submissions will be included in a future column, and you may choose to remain anonymous or be quoted in the published article.

 

About the Authors

Our corporate and personal purpose is to “create opportunities to improve lives” by sharing our knowledge, research, experiences, successes, and mistakes. You can e-mail us at [email protected].

Mike DuBose received his graduate degree from the University of South Carolina and is the author of The Art of Building a Great Business. He has been in business since 1981 and is the owner of Research Associates, The Evaluation Group, Columbia Conference Center, and DuBose Fitness Center. Visit his nonprofit website www.mikedubose.com for a free copy of his book and additional business, travel, and personal articles, as well as health articles written with Dr. Surb Guram, MD.

Blake DuBose graduated from Newberry College’s Schools of Business and Psychology and is president of DuBose Web Group (www.duboseweb.com).

Katie Beck serves as Director of Communications for the DuBose Family of Companies. She graduated from the USC School of Journalism and Honors College.

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