Deal Breakers and Dating

By Tammy Davis

Deal breakers.  All single folks have them.  A list of things that cause immediate expulsion from the dating game.  But sometimes we get a surprise.  Sometimes the deal breaker catches us off guard.

My days of online dating are behind me, but it’s fun to share stories with my friends who are still putting themselves out there, hoping to find their person.

My friend Murray is smart and funny and handsome.  I cannot understand how he is still single, but he is.  He has plenty of dates but hasn’t found the one.

He thought he had a winner a few months back.  Her profile seemed interesting, but there was no photo.  When he asked her for one, she said she didn’t want to meet someone based on appearance.  That intrigued him.

The line of her profile that really got him was “strong European features.”  He imagined an exotic beauty.  They emailed for a few weeks, and he found her funny and bright and clever.  They had lots of common interests.  Yes, Murray was feeling good about this one.

They met at a coffee shop.  When he saw her walk in he was excited and relieved.  She was indeed a beautiful woman.  Stunning even.  Tall, thin with long, dark, wavy hair. She was wearing a blue sundress.  He was a happy man.  He had no idea he was about to get a surprise deal breaker whammy.

When she raised her arms to give him a hug, his stomach dropped.  He felt ambushed.  This beautiful woman with strong European features had dark wavy hair in places other than her head.  He’s a small-town boy from Kentucky.  He never thought to include “must shave underarms and legs” on his checklist.

He wanted to be a man of substance, a man who could get past hairy pits.  He would be direct and ask her if she would be willing to shave.  He would even offer to buy the razors himself.  But he didn’t.  He couldn’t.  A woman like that would never change who she was and he would never want her to.

He knew it was over before it even got started.  Before he got to the bottom of his coffee cup he knew he would have to continue the search.

Murray is a burn-me-once kind of guy.  He won’t let himself get in that situation again.  Now, no matter what, he asks for a recent photo. He even asks for a full-body shot.  That helps him add a new and important step to his screening process.  Now, he can take the full-body photo and zoom in.  Arm pits?  Clear.  Legs? Smooth.  Now that he has that new pre-screening in place, he’s ready to let the dating game begin.

“Hi, my name is Murray.  What’s yours?”

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