5 common and maybe surprising habits that could be holding you back
June 13, 2017
By Brian Maynor
The nature of a habit is an action we do so regularly, that it we may not even be aware of it. Unfortunately it doesn’t matter if they are small ticks or sweeping generalizations; they have the same impact on our success.
When we combine habits with office dynamics the situation gets even trickier, and some of the habits you think are ‘right’ may actually be frustrating, alienating or even disrespectful to your colleagues, peers and bosses.
It is impossible to work in an office and never make a faux pas or misstep, but when the behavior is habitual it becomes a problem.
Here are 5 of the most common office behaviors that may seem right, but are actually tarnishing to our reputation and career:
1. Limiting social interactions too severely. While being focused on our job and getting things done is important, it should not be used as an excuse for disengaging with our colleagues. Habitually rushing past them without taking a moment to catch up, declining lunch invitations or after work drinks can unknowingly give the impression that we are unfriendly or even rude.
Whether it’s intentional or not, this habit of isolating ourselves creates real emotional distance between us and everyone else in our office, which impacts not only our success, but that of the entire group. If this behavior is recognizable we can change it by making it a point to engage with one person each week. It can be as little as a 15-minute coffee break, which is easy to put on our calendar.
2. Reacting badly to sudden changes. It’s natural to get frustrated with a sudden change, but we shouldn’t turn a momentary reaction into a habitual response. When we do, we set ourselves up to be seen as rigid, difficult or resistant to change. This is an offshoot of black-and-white thinking and the reality that we don’t always get our way.
We all have to adapt to sudden, and sometimes inconvenient changes, but instead of letting our fear drive our response to dig in our heels and resist we need to embrace the fear and release it quickly. Anxiety is normal as is a moment of adjustment, but we should never let it paralyze us or cause us to act out.
3. Being the office gossip. There are benefits to keeping an ear to the ground and knowing about what’s going on at work, that is very different from being the one everyone turns to when they want the latest dirt.
Innocent comments can quickly become office fodder especially when they are said in an attempt to bond with colleagues. However, not only will the comments often get back to the other person, a habit of gossiping can cause us to appear untrustworthy. If we find ourselves caught in this loop, the best way to break it is to change the subject when asked to dish on drama or leave the conversation entirely. Having an arsenal of exit strategies is recommended, because it allows us to disengage without creating more drama. Plus it won’t take long for gossip feeders to find another source when you refuse to enable them.
4. Voicing opinions too freely. Dialogue is often encouraged and necessary in group settings, but habitually being the first to share our thoughts or opinions, instigate a debate, or talk over others can be seen as confrontational instead of passionate behavior.
It is easy to misconstrue standing our ground, or simply making a strong point, as being argumentative when we fail to pay attention to how others communicate and various social cues. Not only is it important to listen more and talk less to overcome this habit, we can also shift our words to be more inclusive. For example, by using less ‘you’ and more ‘we’. Also, if there is a struggle not being the first to speak, try writing down our thoughts before jumping into the conversation. That gives us time to formalize them and others a chance to participate in the conversation.
5. Becoming the office complainer. Misery may love company, but occasional group solidarity can quickly turn into a habit of only sharing the negative and worst things about work.
Let’s face it; no one likes being around an Eeyore all the time, and habitually complaining is damaging to our reputation. Breaking this habit requires us to completely reframe our mind-set. To do this, we need to actively seek out and express the positive aspects of situations, people or projects. While it’s okay to occasionally vent, passion and frustration should never derail success.
Communication is never one-sided, which is why it’s important to understand how others see us, our attitude and our behaviors, and recognize the impact that perception has on our success. What we see based on our intention can be perceived in a totally opposite way, and without that awareness we could be creating our own setbacks or worse, standing in our own way.
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I am always curious to hear from you and what you see in the workplace. Send your questions, comments and pet peeves to [email protected]. Also find each of these storyboards at http://brianmaynor.polyvore.com with links to purchase each item.
About Brian Maynor
Brian Maynor has built a reputation as one of the leading style coaches in the Southeast and is quickly expanding his eponymous company, BRIAN MAYNOR and his FIND, FLATTER & FLAUNT line of image consulting services. A professional with a fresh, upbeat and down-to-earth personality and boundless creative energy, he works frequently with with local celebrities; Fortune 500 companies and nonprofit organizations; modeling agencies; fashion designers; production companies; record labels; media and individuals. A regular contributor to various fashion blogs and online communities, Brian Maynor is one of the most trusted and recognized style experts in the region, utilizing his education and training as a broadcast journalist to serve as a style lecturer, emcee, and commentator for over a decade. He has appeared at fashion shows, expos, and charity fundraisers, as well as events with big brands like Banana Republic, Ann Taylor, Chico’s and Macy’s. His approach is innovative, creative and fashion-forward, balancing fresh, modern styles with classic pieces to keep one’s look grounded. To learn more, visit http://www.brianmaynor.com.
