Peace On Earth And Goodwill Towards All . . . In A Perfect World
December 7, 2016
By Brian Maynor
Just because it’s the season of goodwill and peace does not always mean we get a break from jerks and all-around bad behavior.
While stress and anxiety can cause people to behave badly, there are some people who tend to be generally inconsistent. That’s a polite term for two-faced.
These are people who act one way when the boss or higher-ups are around and another way when they’re not, and I’m willing to bet you can name a few of them off the top of your head. Whether these people are all talk and no action, fake friends, or classic Machiavellians you can handle them all the same way
Here’s a simple game plan to help you deal with these jerks, along with any others you might meet outside of work:
1. Don’t make it personal. As hard as it is, when someone is being a jerk to you try and remember it really has nothing to do with you. Very few people intentionally choose to be a jerk. Most of the time they are simply acting out of their own insecurity, ignorance or past experiences.
2. Bite your tongue. If you’re like me, this is probably harder to do than not taking it personally because my immediate reaction is to engage and that is the worst thing you can do. It doesn’t matter if you have a witty comeback or just sigh and roll your eyes. When you engage in someone’s bad behavior you always look bad. It may seem counterintuitive and extremely hard to do, but the best retaliation is to not engage at all.
3. Choose your battles. Is the behavior just annoying, or is actually affecting you and your ability to work? If the behavior is impacting your ability to work and you need to take action it’s important to do so wisely. First, try to resolve the issue with the person directly and in private. If there is no change, and you feel the boss should be involved, tread carefully. The last thing you want is to come across as the problem.
The best way to avoid appearing petty is to focus on work and maintain a calm, neutral tone as you explicitly lay out your intentions, questions and requests for clarification.
Bad behavior is emotionally charged, and it’s incredibly easy to get caught up in anger, frustration and resentment. As tempting as it is to fight fire with fire, the only thing that will do is make you look just as bad, if not worse than the other person.
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I am always curious to hear from you and what you see in the workplace. Send your questions, comments and pet peeves to [email protected]. Also find each of these storyboards at http://brianmaynor.polyvore.com with links to purchase each item.
About Brian Maynor
Brian Maynor has built a reputation as one of the leading style coaches in the Southeast and is quickly expanding his eponymous company, BRIAN MAYNOR and his FIND, FLATTER & FLAUNT line of image consulting services. A professional with a fresh, upbeat and down-to-earth personality and boundless creative energy, he works frequently with with local celebrities; Fortune 500 companies and nonprofit organizations; modeling agencies; fashion designers; production companies; record labels; media and individuals. A regular contributor to various fashion blogs and online communities, Brian Maynor is one of the most trusted and recognized style experts in the region, utilizing his education and training as a broadcast journalist to serve as a style lecturer, emcee, and commentator for over a decade. He has appeared at fashion shows, expos, and charity fundraisers, as well as events with big brands like Banana Republic, Ann Taylor, Chico’s and Macy’s. His approach is innovative, creative and fashion-forward, balancing fresh, modern styles with classic pieces to keep one’s look grounded. To learn more, visit http://www.brianmaynor.com.
