How To Own Your Next Social Engagement, Or At Least Give The Appearance You Do

By Brian Maynor

 

From small get-togethers to large events, summer is a social season, so it’s important to feel comfortable and confident when interacting with both people you know and don’t know.

From entering the room to navigating the crowd there are certain cues you send, either intentionally or unintentionally that will affect how others perceive you, thus impacting your experience and the ultimate enjoyment of the event.

Here are a few things to keep in mind the next time you’re at an event, whether is social or professional that will boost your image to everyone in the room:

1.    Entering the room.  It’s not called ‘making an entrance’ for nothing.  The instant you walk into a room you are exposed to evaluation and judgment.  It’s just how the human brain operates.  So you need to use it to your advantage.

Keys to remember:  Smile like you want to be there, whether it’s true or not.  Take your time to survey the room and make eye contact with people.  Wave to friends, even if they are imaginary.  Each of these actions portrays confidence, a general openness and positive attitude and will impact the impression others form of you.

2.    Posture.  It’s funny when you start practicing good posture how much you notice poor posture in others, i.e. the tendency to make yourself as small as possible.

‘Good posture’ doesn’t mean peacocking, where you puff out your chest and strut around, or trying to emulate a statue.  It’s simply means standing or sitting as tall as possible, while relaxing your head, neck and shoulders.  The key is to appear relaxed, while maintaining tension in your core.  The tension is what allows you to move with grace and fluidity.

3.    Standing.  Believe it or not, where, and how you stand in the room is a huge signal to others about your attitude.  Everyone knows that maintaining an ‘open stance’ signifies interest and general friendliness, where crossed arms and slouching signals discomfort and insecurity, but there are other cues to be mindful of as well.

For example don’t lean against something for support.  This is a dismissive action that signifies your disinterest or at a minimum passive attitude toward the event and the people there.  If you must rely on support from a wall, column or even chair, your posture becomes even more important to counteract those signals.  Poor posture and leaning is a surefire way to turn off others.

4.    Facial expressions.  Last week we talked about micro expressions and how your face tells a story whether you want it to or not.  When it comes to social engagements, finding the perfect resting face takes a little effort.

‘Bitchy resting face’ is a pretty well known condition, but you don’t want to overcompensate with your smile either.  The reason you can spot a fake smile is because it’s more about the feeling you emote than the action itself.  If you want to find the perfect party smile the trick is to think about something you’re happy to see because smiling is all about expressing happiness.

When you’re not smiling try to maintain a neutral, slightly amused expression, and don’t break eye contact immediately.  It’s a pervasive practice, so work on holding someone’s gaze and smiling before looking away.

Social events are supposed to be fun, and while that may not always be the case, it’s important to give the impression you are enjoying yourself.  Just like everything, there are ways to do it that are more successful than others and generally they will take some practice.

 

Click here or on the images below to learn more about the outfit.

 

 

 

Click here or on the images below to learn more about the outfit.

 

 

 

 

 

I am always curious to hear some of your weekend wardrobe dilemmas and challenges. Please send your comments and questions to [email protected]. Also find each of these storyboards at http://brianmaynor.polyvore.com with links to purchase each item.

 

 

 

About Brian Maynor

Brian Maynor has built a reputation as one of the leading style coaches in the Southeast and is quickly expanding his eponymous company, BRIAN MAYNOR and his FIND, FLATTER & FLAUNT line of image consulting services. A professional with a fresh, upbeat and down-to-earth personality and boundless creative energy, he works frequently with with local celebrities; Fortune 500 companies and nonprofit organizations; modeling agencies; fashion designers; production companies; record labels; media and individuals. A regular contributor to various fashion blogs and online communities, Brian Maynor is one of the most trusted and recognized style experts in the region, utilizing his education and training as a broadcast journalist to serve as a style lecturer, emcee, and commentator for over a decade. He has appeared at fashion shows, expos, and charity fundraisers, as well as events with big brands like Banana Republic, Ann Taylor, Chico’s and Macy’s. His approach is innovative, creative and fashion-forward, balancing fresh, modern styles with classic pieces to keep one’s look grounded. To learn more, visit http://www.brianmaynor.com.

 

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