How to make friends as an adult

By Brian Maynor

 

It doesn’t matter if we’ve moved to a new city or just looking to expand our social circle, adults need friends just as much as children do.

The problem is, we just don’t seem to know how to make them.

When we look at our current circle of friends, most likely they include people we’ve known for years.  Our friends are people we went to school with, people we’ve met through work or shared activities, or friends of friends.  In other words, our friendships developed organically over time.

However, when we find ourselves in a new city, country or even company, we don’t necessarily want to wait years to make friends this way.  Luckily there are things we can do and ways to make friends quicker that are just as important and valuable as our current ones.  Here are a few tips to try:

1.  Try reconnecting first. We all have friendships that have faded or fallen by the wayside for no other reason than time or distance.  When we find ourselves in a new place, we should first seek out these former friends and try reconnecting with them.  We all have some kind of social media platform we can use to reach out to them.

2.    Tap your current network. Yes, it’s easy and obvious to ask our closest friends for help connecting to new people, but why stop there?  When we ask our entire network there is a greater chance of discovering connections that may already exist.  Even if we only get a few additional names, that’s more than we had in the beginning.

3.    Join in group activities. This doesn’t mean meetup or networking events, but rather social activities not geared toward socializing.  Attending events based on networking is actually not productive when trying to make new connections, because we tend to only talk to the people we already know.  However, when we participate in a class or community sports team socializing is more natural and not the sole focus of the event.  The key is to find an activity that requires interdependence to achieve the goal.

4.    Get to know the entire person. When meeting new people it’s natural to limit the conversation to one or two things, but we should try to expand the conversation.  Friends, family, jobs and hobbies are often comfortable topics, but when we look for other commonalities or shared interests in various levels of our lives we begin to build deeper friendships and connections.  Plus, the more ways we connect with someone the more reasons we have to stay in touch with them.

Making friends as an adult is not as easy as it was a child, but it is possible.  And when we use these tips, we won’t have to wait years to forge strong and valuable friendships.

 

 

I’m always excited to hear from you, so please email your questions, quandaries and conundrums to [email protected].

 

About Brian Maynor

Brian Maynor has built a reputation as one of the leading style coaches in the Southeast and is quickly expanding his eponymous company, BRIAN MAYNOR and his FIND, FLATTER & FLAUNT line of image consulting services. A professional with a fresh, upbeat and down-to-earth personality and boundless creative energy, he works frequently with with local celebrities; Fortune 500 companies and nonprofit organizations; modeling agencies; fashion designers; production companies; record labels; media and individuals. A regular contributor to various fashion blogs and online communities, Brian Maynor is one of the most trusted and recognized style experts in the region, utilizing his education and training as a broadcast journalist to serve as a style lecturer, emcee, and commentator for over a decade. He has appeared at fashion shows, expos, and charity fundraisers, as well as events with big brands like Banana Republic, Ann Taylor, Chico’s and Macy’s. His approach is innovative, creative and fashion-forward, balancing fresh, modern styles with classic pieces to keep one’s look grounded. To learn more, visit http://www.brianmaynor.com.

 

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