Coping with secondhand emotions
October 10, 2018
By Brian Maynor
Whether we realize it or not, emotions are contagious.
This can be a benefit when we are around people who are happy, confident and optimistic, but a problem if we’re around people who are constantly stressed out, anxious and negative.
While we may not be able to completely sequester ourselves every time people around us are experiencing negative emotions, there are ways we can counteract them. It starts by recognizing that emotions are conveyed through more than just face-to-face interactions. They come through just as strongly in verbal, nonverbal and written communications as well.
Here are some skills, practices and strategies we can use today to dramatically reduce the effects of unwanted secondhand emotions:
1. Identify the source. Emotions are powerful, and it’s easy to get caught up in reacting to them, so before we take any action, it is important to identify their source. When we see we are reacting to someone else’s emotions, having a conversation with them is the first strategy. This will not only help us, but it will help them as well.
2. Offer empathy over sympathy. Stressed out people often suffer from tunnel vision, so talking with them about their emotions and showing empathy can help them not only identify their source, but also name their emotions. It’s much easier to deal with something once we know exactly what it is and what’s causing it. In this situation, showing sympathy would amount to nothing more than offering lip service.
3. Take short breaks. Stepping away from someone who is constantly stressed out or anxious is okay, but understand this is simply a short-term fix. The goal should be to strengthen and ground ourselves during the breaks so we are in a better mental and emotional space to deal with them, and not avoiding them forever.
4. Cultivate optimism. Hopefully we all have friends who always seem to be able to put us in a good mood because of their infectious optimism, and that’s a very important and powerful way to combat and strengthen ourselves against secondhand emotions. Using their example, we can be a source of optimism for others. By maintaining our own positive outlook and mindset we can influence the people around us to be more optimistic and happy.
Technology is not the only way we are connected to one another. We share and influence each other’s emotions as well. That can be both positive and a negative, depending on the emotions we are exuding and how we choose to respond to them. Not only can we “catch” someone else’s bad mood, we can give them our good moods too.
I’m always excited to hear from you, so please email your questions, quandaries and conundrums to [email protected].
About Brian Maynor
Brian Maynor has built a reputation as one of the leading style coaches in the Southeast and is quickly expanding his eponymous company, BRIAN MAYNOR and his FIND, FLATTER & FLAUNT line of image consulting services. A professional with a fresh, upbeat and down-to-earth personality and boundless creative energy, he works frequently with with local celebrities; Fortune 500 companies and nonprofit organizations; modeling agencies; fashion designers; production companies; record labels; media and individuals. A regular contributor to various fashion blogs and online communities, Brian Maynor is one of the most trusted and recognized style experts in the region, utilizing his education and training as a broadcast journalist to serve as a style lecturer, emcee, and commentator for over a decade. He has appeared at fashion shows, expos, and charity fundraisers, as well as events with big brands like Banana Republic, Ann Taylor, Chico’s and Macy’s. His approach is innovative, creative and fashion-forward, balancing fresh, modern styles with classic pieces to keep one’s look grounded. To learn more, visit http://www.brianmaynor.com.
