Effective ways to cut through BS
December 12, 2017
By Brian Maynor
The typical American adult tells one to two lies every day, according to a study by Kim Serota and Timothy Levine.
We tell lies for any number of reasons, including avoiding embarrassment, rejection or criticism, but not all lies are the same. Some lies are designed to be malicious, destructive and toxic for no reason other than to hurt others or manipulate them, but lies aren’t the only form of BS.
Think about this, on average we talk about 3 hours a day averaging 16,000 words, and the typical person talks crap about 1/3 of the time, or roughly an hour every day.
It’s important to be able to spot and cut through BS in general, however, it is especially important to identify and address it when faced with the kind that is vicious and damaging.
Here are some of the best ways to detect and cut through BS:
1. Expect it. We should all expect that people are going to talk nonsense and other forms of crap from time to time, including lying. To do otherwise is just wishful thinking. Expecting it doesn’t mean we have to accept it. It merely puts us on guard so that we can recognize it and do something about it when it happens.
2. Ask questions. When faced with something that doesn’t feel right or doesn’t add up start asking questions. They are the most powerful tools when it comes to cutting through crap. Some of the best questions are: “Why do you think that?” “Can you explain that reasoning to me?” and “What evidence do you have to support your claim?”. BS will typically come to light when pressed for details or specifics. But we shouldn’t just accept ‘facts’ at face value. If they are true, then there will be supporting sources.
3. Spot the red flags. If someone is reluctant or refuses to discuss the issue further, that’s a red flag that they are spewing BS. Another red flag is the overuse of jargon or technical terminology. While the use of some jargon is unavoidable, when it is used excessively along with other complex or elaborate terminology, that should be a big red flag that the person is trying to confuse you, lie to you or otherwise distort the truth. If you don’t understand something, go back to asking questions and keep asking them until you do.
4. Give it time. Lies, BS and crap talk are threads that all tend to unravel over time, because they simply aren’t sustainable. This is especially true for significant ones. So if you can’t cut through it right off the bat, the best way to deal with is to do nothing. It’s like the rope analogy: eventually they will hang themselves.
Most of the time BS is purely self-serving and harmless, but not always. Being able to identify it when we hear it and deal with it from the start will not only save us time, it can prevent damage to relationships and reputations.
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I am always curious to hear from you and what you see in the workplace. Send your questions, comments and pet peeves to [email protected]. Also find each of these storyboards at http://brianmaynor.polyvore.com with links to purchase each item.
About Brian Maynor
Brian Maynor has built a reputation as one of the leading style coaches in the Southeast and is quickly expanding his eponymous company, BRIAN MAYNOR and his FIND, FLATTER & FLAUNT line of image consulting services. A professional with a fresh, upbeat and down-to-earth personality and boundless creative energy, he works frequently with with local celebrities; Fortune 500 companies and nonprofit organizations; modeling agencies; fashion designers; production companies; record labels; media and individuals. A regular contributor to various fashion blogs and online communities, Brian Maynor is one of the most trusted and recognized style experts in the region, utilizing his education and training as a broadcast journalist to serve as a style lecturer, emcee, and commentator for over a decade. He has appeared at fashion shows, expos, and charity fundraisers, as well as events with big brands like Banana Republic, Ann Taylor, Chico’s and Macy’s. His approach is innovative, creative and fashion-forward, balancing fresh, modern styles with classic pieces to keep one’s look grounded. To learn more, visit http://www.brianmaynor.com.
