We are all a little narcissistic

By Brian Maynor

 

 

When we think about a narcissist, our first thought might be someone who is self-absorbed, loving themselves above all others and expecting everyone else to as well.  Surprisingly that’s not entirely accurate.

Psychologist Stephen Johnson has defined narcissism as ‘someone who has buried their true self-expression in response to early injuries and replaced it with a highly developed, compensatory false self.’

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders classifies narcissism as a personality disorder, but it is also a spectrum disorder.  That means it exists on a continuum.  While Narcissistic Personality Disorder is rare, most of us have some of its characteristics.

So what does it mean to be a narcissist?

Here are a few of the most common traits and how they affect us:

1.   Narcissists think and feel differently from others.  While they have a deep-rooted need for validation and approval for themselves, narcissists could care less about how others feel.  The fact that they don’t experience a lot of sympathy or empathy for others, and are reluctant to show emotions creates the characteristic ‘cold personality.’

2.    Narcissism is vulnerability taken to the extreme.  At the heart of being a narcissist is the fear of feeling vulnerable with anyone.  In fact, they go to extremes to avoid feeling vulnerable at all costs.  This fear of vulnerability creates the need to appear strong and powerful; masking continuous anxiety.  Contrary to their cold exterior, narcissists are highly aware of their emotions, and live in constant anxiety over what others think of them.

3.    Narcissism can be a result of the past.  What can be perceived as a constant need for attention is really a constant need for validation.  This could be a result of not feeling valued in the past, or the opposite, being given extreme attention and admiration.

4.    Narcissists are expert manipulators.  Narcissists are very charming and know it, and they use their charm to take advantage of others and get what they want.  Couple that with the fact that they don’t care about the feelings of others, and you see why they don’t experience guilt using manipulation to get their way.  It’s just their way of life.

We all have different personality types, and narcissism in any form is just one of them.  That doesn’t mean those traits are inherently wrong or bad.  Like any other personality traits you have to know and understand them if you want to manage them, or deal with them in other people.

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Click here or on the images below to learn more about the outfit.

 

 

 

I am always curious to hear about your weekend wardrobe dilemmas and help make your work wardrobe pull double duty.  Email your questions, quandaries and conundrums to [email protected].  Also find each of these storyboards at http://brianmaynor.polyvore.com with links to purchase each item.

 

 

About Brian Maynor

Brian Maynor has built a reputation as one of the leading style coaches in the Southeast and is quickly expanding his eponymous company, BRIAN MAYNOR and his FIND, FLATTER & FLAUNT line of image consulting services. A professional with a fresh, upbeat and down-to-earth personality and boundless creative energy, he works frequently with with local celebrities; Fortune 500 companies and nonprofit organizations; modeling agencies; fashion designers; production companies; record labels; media and individuals. A regular contributor to various fashion blogs and online communities, Brian Maynor is one of the most trusted and recognized style experts in the region, utilizing his education and training as a broadcast journalist to serve as a style lecturer, emcee, and commentator for over a decade. He has appeared at fashion shows, expos, and charity fundraisers, as well as events with big brands like Banana Republic, Ann Taylor, Chico’s and Macy’s. His approach is innovative, creative and fashion-forward, balancing fresh, modern styles with classic pieces to keep one’s look grounded. To learn more, visit http://www.brianmaynor.com.

 

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