The Soft Skills You Need for More Happiness and Success

By Brian Maynor

 

 

Over the past week, I’ve read several articles about soft skills and the importance they play in our lives, yet they are hardly ever taught or talked about.

So, what are they, and why are they so important?

Soft skills are those related to our attitude, disposition and personality and we need to master a wide range of them if we want to be happy and successful.  Think about engaging in a conversation.  Whether it’s during an interview or on a date, soft skills are what help you be a good listener, empathize with the other person and even demonstrate a positive attitude.

Now I’m willing to bet no one ever specifically taught you any of those skills, yet you’ve developed a few of them over the years whether you realize it or not.  However, it’s never too late to develop more.

Here are a few soft skills to help you start identifying them so you can consciously work on making them better and amplify your happiness and success:

1.    Willingness to accept feedback.  This is definitely a soft skill I am learning.  My initial reaction to feedback, whether good or bad, was to shut down and block it out. That was my coping mechanism for feeling judged, which made me defensive.  Instead of lashing out I trained myself to shut down.  Neither option is going to help me increase my happiness or success, because we need feedback to grow and make positive changes.

2.    Being flexible.  This will be especially hard for anyone who is ‘type A’ and likes to be in control of everything.  Flexibility is a requirement for life, and that doesn’t mean accepting changes while grumbling under your breath.  Being truly flexible means you don’t let unexpected adjustments affect you at all.  You simply make the change and keep moving.

3.    Being assertive.  As I talked about yesterday, assertiveness is a balance between aggressiveness and passiveness that is different for all of us, and requires some trial and error to perfect.  Assertiveness also requires flexibility because you need to know when to employ it and to what degree.  When you find the right balance that is appropriate for the situation, being assertive is a remarkable tool for starting conversations and creating new opportunities.

4.    Remaining focused.  ADD is a condition that is thrown around a lot today because no one can seem to stay focused on one thing longer than a few seconds.  My husband constantly gets annoyed with me when we watch TV because I’m also on my phone and my iPad at the same time.  It drives him crazy.  Yet this inability to focus doesn’t just happen during down time.  Being able to concentrate on one task or problem is a skill that is definitely lacking, so cultivating it will set you apart for sure.

5.    Understanding the power of teamwork.  A skill often ‘taught’ through sports programs, learning to work together as a team develops several other soft skills.  For example teamwork teaches us to identify when to be competitive and when to collaborate; how to resolve conflict, how to be confident as an individual in a group setting, and how to deal with stress and make quick decisions.  All of these skills are just as important individually as they are collectively.

6.    How to engender trustworthiness.  Whether it’s through a courteous, good-mannered personality, great interpersonal skills or simply communicating effectively, being able to earn someone’s trust within a short period of time is a powerful skill that allows you gain their confidence and establish a reputation for being honest and reliable.

These are just a few of the soft skills we use or need to use every day for happier, more successful interactions, and you can see how they play off of each other.  If you feel your hard work is going unrecognized or rewarded, try tuning into these soft skills.  Developing them could make the world of difference to your happiness and success rate in life.

 

Click here or on the images below to learn more about the outfit.

 

Click here or on the images below to learn more about the outfit.

 

I am always curious to hear about your weekend wardrobe dilemmas and help make your work wardrobe pull double duty.  Email your questions, quandaries and conundrums to [email protected].  Also find each of these storyboards at http://brianmaynor.polyvore.com with links to purchase each item.

 

 

About Brian Maynor

Brian Maynor has built a reputation as one of the leading style coaches in the Southeast and is quickly expanding his eponymous company, BRIAN MAYNOR and his FIND, FLATTER & FLAUNT line of image consulting services. A professional with a fresh, upbeat and down-to-earth personality and boundless creative energy, he works frequently with with local celebrities; Fortune 500 companies and nonprofit organizations; modeling agencies; fashion designers; production companies; record labels; media and individuals. A regular contributor to various fashion blogs and online communities, Brian Maynor is one of the most trusted and recognized style experts in the region, utilizing his education and training as a broadcast journalist to serve as a style lecturer, emcee, and commentator for over a decade. He has appeared at fashion shows, expos, and charity fundraisers, as well as events with big brands like Banana Republic, Ann Taylor, Chico’s and Macy’s. His approach is innovative, creative and fashion-forward, balancing fresh, modern styles with classic pieces to keep one’s look grounded. To learn more, visit http://www.brianmaynor.com.

 

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