How to prepare for the first family event of the season

By Brian Maynor

As shocking as it is to comprehend, Thanksgiving is next week. So if you haven’t started stressing yet, I’m sure you will at any moment.

No matter how many stressful, tension-filled or awkward family dinners we’ve had in the past we still like to believe in the idealistic holiday gathering where the mood is relaxed, and everyone is full of the holiday spirit while enjoying perfectly prepared food and jovial conversation. It’s always nice to hope for the best, as long as you are prepared for reality.

Family events are stressful and not just in the kitchen where you’re trying to time everything to come together all at once, look amazing and taste even better. Small talk with family can be a struggle within itself, which often leads to periods of silence while making desperate attempts to flee. Fortunately there is always liquid courage or prescription aid to help you survive the meal, but those aren’t your only options. Here are a few other ways to enjoy, and not merely endure, your family this holiday season:

1.    Don’t believe the hype. Setting the right expectation goes a long way to surviving the holidays and that means abandoning the ‘ideal holiday image.’ Ads aren’t real. Television shows are scripted, and the image we’re being sold is nothing close to real life. Not only do we fight the urge to regress into familiar family roles and attitudes, we have to open up and accept the fact that no family event is going to be perfect because no family is perfect. Accepting that allows us to keep the focus where it belongs, on us and our inner strength as adults to make our own decisions and not be impacted by other people or their problems and insecurities.

2.    Limit the alcohol available. While a glass of wine or cocktail can help smooth out the edges, excessive amounts tend to create more stress than it alleviates. The best way to keep this from happening is to limit the availability of booze as the family gathers and serve plenty of non-alcoholic options during the meal. This will help moderate and hydrate throughout the event.

3.    Be flexible. The holidays may focus on tradition, but as families grow and change, not all traditions can be saved. Pick one or two that mean the most to you and focus on those, but let the rest go. Whether that means celebrating on a different day or time, or adopting new traditions that include new members of the family.

4.    Pace yourself. This goes not only with food, alcohol, treats and candies that start rolling in this time of year, but also with commitments. There will be a lot of options, invitations and last-minute gatherings, but you should fight the pressure to commit to all of them. When you double or even triple book your time you make it impossible to enjoy the experience. Be selective about the invitations you accept and don’t feel bad about the ones you decline. You’re going to need all the strength and resilience you can muster to make it through the next two months and that’s both physical and mental.

5.    Stay comfortable. Dressing for holiday events can be tricky because you want to elevate your look a little, but also need to stay comfortable for long periods of time. The best way to handle this is to stick with a style you’re comfortable with and upgrade it with one or two embellishments. Remember these are marathon events where you’re going to be doing a lot of riding, sitting, eating and standing so avoid anything that is binding, tight or painful after thirty minutes.

Expecting stress and working up a plan to account for it doesn’t make you a downer around the holidays. In fact, it’s just the opposite. You are proactively working to ensure you enjoy the season and have the best time possible with family and friends, which is the goal.

 

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I am always curious to hear some of your weekend wardrobe dilemmas and challenges. Please send your comments and questions to [email protected]. Also find each of these storyboards at http://brianmaynor.polyvore.com with links to purchase each item.

 

About Brian Maynor

Brian Maynor has built a reputation as one of the leading style coaches in the Southeast and is quickly expanding his eponymous company, BRIAN MAYNOR and his FIND, FLATTER & FLAUNT line of image consulting services. A professional with a fresh, upbeat and down-to-earth personality and boundless creative energy, he works frequently with with local celebrities; Fortune 500 companies and nonprofit organizations; modeling agencies; fashion designers; production companies; record labels; media and individuals. A regular contributor to various fashion blogs and online communities, Brian Maynor is one of the most trusted and recognized style experts in the region, utilizing his education and training as a broadcast journalist to serve as a style lecturer, emcee, and commentator for over a decade. He has appeared at fashion shows, expos, and charity fundraisers, as well as events with big brands like Banana Republic, Ann Taylor, Chico’s and Macy’s. His approach is innovative, creative and fashion-forward, balancing fresh, modern styles with classic pieces to keep one’s look grounded. To learn more, visit http://www.brianmaynor.com.

 

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