Etiquette Questions I am Frequently Asked

By Deborah O’Connor

I am asked many questions during the course of my work. Here are a few of the most frequently asked.

• I am at a fancy dinner party and there are copious utensils, a myriad of stemware, and it’s very confusing. What should I do? You need to know that your place setting is a map of what you will be eating. Simply work your way in from the outside, i.e. from left to right on your left and from right to left on your right. If you are served soup first, you will see a soupspoon on the far right. Obviously, you will use it. FYI, if it is a round soupspoon, you will be served a cream soup. If the spoon is oval, you will be served a clear soup. Continue in this manner and you will work your way to the last utensil. What about dessert? Your dessert utensils will be above your plate.
• I have finally broken out of the cube. I have my own office, I’m in the “inner circle”, and I have worked hard for this. However, I have many friends and colleagues still in the cubes and don’t want to lose touch with them. Will my closed office door make the others on my team feel paranoid? The answer is to keep all doors open except during an emergency. Remember, open doors inspire trust and a spirit of friendship and camaraderie.
• You’ve emailed your client four times asking for a response. He completely ignores you. Do you email his boss? Absolutely not. Even though your client was rude to ignore you, contacting his boss is a no-no. It shows no respect for your client and is sure to incur his wrath.
• One of your colleagues is getting married and the attire is black tie. Should a woman wear what she would wear to any black tie event? Because it is a colleague’s wedding, this changes things considerably. You can expect to see business friends there so discretion is definitely needed. Do not wear anything that looks sexy or inappropriate. Go for a classy and elegant look and you cannot go wrong.
• What are interviewers looking for? This question can be answered with many pages and suggestions, but to be concise and to the point, they are trying to decide if they want you to be at their company five days a week, fifty weeks a year. In a nutshell, they are looking for someone with people skills, problem-solving skills, and closure skills. Try to demonstrate these skills specifically in your interview.
• You are at a very important business dinner with a table full of colleagues and your boss. You are expecting an important phone call from Hong Kong and you need to take the call. Where do you put your phone? Do you turn the ringer on or off? Do you mention this to anyone? Put the phone in your pocket and have it on vibrate. Tell everyone at the beginning that you are expecting this call and will need to step away from the table. Fully engage in the conversation and camaraderie of the business dinner and when the call comes in, simply get up and leave the table. Return as inconspicuously as possible and rejoin the conversation.

Please feel free to send questions to Deborah at: www.successfulimage.biz.

She will answer them in her weekly column.

Deborah O’Connor is a social strategist and founder and president of Successful Image LLC with offices in Columbia and Atlanta. She offers training and seminars on image management, workplace etiquette, and social skills necessary to succeed in life professionally and personally. Contact at:  [email protected]       www.successfulimage.biz