How leaders can prevent sharing from becoming oversharing

By Brian Maynor

 

Thanks to social media, our lives have become a testament to oversharing.

The common thought is that everything we do needs to be shared, and if it doesn’t get a certain amount of likes then it wasn’t valuable.  Not only is this new way of thinking dangerous, not everyone wants or needs to know what we’re doing at all times.

While there are good sides and positive benefits to social media and the fact that through it people get to know more about us and find commonalities, there are many downsides, namely loss of privacy.

So, what does this era of oversharing mean for leaders?  The fact is that we all respond better to leaders who demonstrate emotions and vulnerability, as well as ones we feel a connection with, but this sharing has its limits.  When our leaders overshare, specifically about their fears or concerns regarding their preparedness, then we tend to lose faith in them and their abilities.

Leaders are in a unique position.  Their words and actions are more visible, scrutinized, and analyzed, which means they have to be more selective with what they share, how they share it and when they share it.  In other words, they cannot overshare.

Here are a few tips to consider when balancing the line between productive sharing and counterproductive oversharing:

1.   Check our emotions. Emotions are tricky things, and they tend to cause us to act impulsively before really processing them.  The best thing we can do with regard to our emotions is to recognize when they are stirring so we can press pause before acting.  Understanding why we’re emotional and what those emotions mean before we act can save us from undermining ourselves with a spontaneous reaction of oversharing.

2.    Plug emotional leaks. Believe it or not, we are not as good at hiding our emotions as we like to think.  Thanks to nonverbal communications, our attitude and behaviors it’s actually quite easy for others to sense our emotions.  Instead of letting our emotions color everything we do, it is better to just acknowledge them and move on.  That doesn’t mean we have to explain the reason for our emotions, but simply pointing them out and accounting for them can go along way in preventing them from spreading to others.

3.    Always provide a way forward. We all slip up and lash out unnecessarily, but there is a way to correct it.  When we find ourselves in this position, we should offer a brief explanation for it and move immediately to the next steps.  By offering a way forward, people are more likely to forgive and overlook the emotional reaction.  This demonstrates the presence of strong emotions, but a commitment to moving forward in spite of them instead of simply becoming an emotional outburst.

4.    Switch places. One of the best ways to evaluate if we are about to overshare is to put ourselves in the listeners shoes and ask, “how would I feel if I heard this?”  If it creates pause or concern, then it’s best not to share it.  This also helps us clarify our intentions.  We tend to overshare when we’re trying to create a connection, but when we are coming from a place of authenticity this rarely happens.

This fine line between sharing and oversharing applies not only to leaders in business, but leaders in all aspects of life.  I would wager that we are all in leadership role in one aspect of our lives or another and could benefit from thinking about the impact and intention behind what we’re sharing the next time we start to post on social media or share some personal thoughts or feelings.

 

 

I’m always excited to hear from you, so please email your questions, quandaries and conundrums to [email protected].

 

About Brian Maynor

Brian Maynor has built a reputation as one of the leading style coaches in the Southeast and is quickly expanding his eponymous company, BRIAN MAYNOR and his FIND, FLATTER & FLAUNT line of image consulting services. A professional with a fresh, upbeat and down-to-earth personality and boundless creative energy, he works frequently with with local celebrities; Fortune 500 companies and nonprofit organizations; modeling agencies; fashion designers; production companies; record labels; media and individuals. A regular contributor to various fashion blogs and online communities, Brian Maynor is one of the most trusted and recognized style experts in the region, utilizing his education and training as a broadcast journalist to serve as a style lecturer, emcee, and commentator for over a decade. He has appeared at fashion shows, expos, and charity fundraisers, as well as events with big brands like Banana Republic, Ann Taylor, Chico’s and Macy’s. His approach is innovative, creative and fashion-forward, balancing fresh, modern styles with classic pieces to keep one’s look grounded. To learn more, visit http://www.brianmaynor.com.

 

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