Are You Focused More On “Proving” Or “Improving”?

By Brian Maynor

 

From everything I’ve read about 2016 it’s clear the overriding theme is to make this the year of ‘you’ in every aspect of your life, but is that something we can control?

A new study by Jack Zenger and Joseph Folkman looked at self-improvement and specifically two controllable factors affect the process.

Here are a few interesting insights they found on how age and gender affect self-improvement:

 

1.    General mindset. When thinking about how you react to feedback, chances are you fall clearly into one of two camps: it makes you defensive or you eagerly accept it. Zenger and Folkman have identified these reactions as ‘proving’ and ‘improving’.

Proving is the defensive reaction akin to feeling you have something to prove, while improving is the accepting reaction because your goal is getting better.

If you’re in doubt of which way you react, remember the last time you received negative feedback. Did you question it or accept? Did you take it personally? Recalling these answers will help you determine which mindset you have currently.

2.    The impact of age. It comes as no surprise that as we age we tend to move away from a proving mindset towards an improving one, but it’s not always a steady incline. Along with age comes self-confidence, a huge factor in this study, but also the natural tendency to become more self-aware with time and experience.

3.    The impact of gender. Another expected outcome was the fact that women tend to have a proving mindset more than men, especially early in their careers, but what may not be so expected is that by the end of their careers they are more confident than men.

A very encouraging fact to note is that women tend to overcome the social bias they face establishing their creditability to ultimately become more confident than their male counterparts.

4.    Making the switch. While we can’t really exert control over our age or gender that doesn’t mean we can’t consciously work to move from a proving mindset to an improving one. As we all know from experience it’s much easier to change behavior than an attitude, so be prepared to put in a lot of work if you embark on this quest.

The first step is to ask for smaller amounts of feedback more frequently. It’s much easier to acclimate to feedback when you are working with it on a regular basis. It’s also important for managers to know how to give the right type of feedback to facilitate the switch. The example used was instead of praising a specific report; praise the hard work that went into creating it.

 

During the ‘year of you’ understanding the difference between self-improvement and proving is going to be crucial to becoming a better version of yourself. No matter how much we want to change, it only happens when you stop trying to prove something.

 

Click here or on the images below to learn more about the outfit.

 

 

Click here or on the images below to learn more about the outfit.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I am always curious to hear from you and what you see in the workplace. Send your questions, comments and pet peeves to [email protected]. Also find each of these storyboards at http://brianmaynor.polyvore.com with links to purchase each item.

 

About Brian Maynor

Brian Maynor has built a reputation as one of the leading style coaches in the Southeast and is quickly expanding his eponymous company, BRIAN MAYNOR and his FIND, FLATTER & FLAUNT line of image consulting services. A professional with a fresh, upbeat and down-to-earth personality and boundless creative energy, he works frequently with with local celebrities; Fortune 500 companies and nonprofit organizations; modeling agencies; fashion designers; production companies; record labels; media and individuals. A regular contributor to various fashion blogs and online communities, Brian Maynor is one of the most trusted and recognized style experts in the region, utilizing his education and training as a broadcast journalist to serve as a style lecturer, emcee, and commentator for over a decade. He has appeared at fashion shows, expos, and charity fundraisers, as well as events with big brands like Banana Republic, Ann Taylor, Chico’s and Macy’s. His approach is innovative, creative and fashion-forward, balancing fresh, modern styles with classic pieces to keep one’s look grounded. To learn more, visit http://www.brianmaynor.com.

 

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