Deborah OConnor October 14, 2013

 
Should you always take the high road when someone is treating you rudely oracting inappropriately? As in many etiquette situations, this is acase-by-case decision depending on the circumstances. Let’s take a lookat some situations and decide how best to handle the controversy.

A friend of mine who was a coach for 26 years received a call from thefather of a former player. He was irate and accused the coach of notpromoting his son and therefore sabotaging his career. The coach did not buy into the irate behavior, but simply asked if he and his son couldcome in the next day and meet with him. When the father and son arrived, he presented all his records, which he meticulously recorded and kept.He was able to refute every accusation with facts that supported howmany times the son had missed practice, how many penalties he hadincurred, his subpar overall record, and every infraction he had made.The former player was embarrassed, his father was upset with him, andthe coach walked away with his impeccable character intact.

Abusiness acquaintance was called-out in a loud and obnoxious way by herboss. He accused her of losing a valuable client and told her that herjob was in jeopardy. She calmly told him that she would like a voice inthe situation and could they meet tomorrow morning. Her boss reluctantly agreed and they met the next morning. She had documented the accountevery step of the way and presented everything to her boss.  She wasvindicated and her boss realized that the client was the one at faultand he had the documentation to prove it.

A colleague was accused of wrongdoing and immediately dismissed from his job. He was told toclear out his desk and leave the premises immediately. After leaving the office, he called his attorney for advice. He was told that we are allentitled to due process. He called the employer and told her that shehad violated his client’s rights, which violated the law, and that if he was not reinstated immediately, she would be sued.  

Obviously,keeping impeccable records is a smart idea. Being able to back yourselfup with written documentation is important, so get in the habit of doing so. We are all legally entitled to have our voice heard, so don’t beafraid to ask for this. It is also very important to hear both sides ofany story and don’t be afraid to ask for time for everyone to calm down. Try not to stoop down to a low level, maintain your sense of self andyou can emerge with class and confidence.

Deborah O’Connor is a social strategist and founder and president of Successful Image LLC with offices in Columbia and Atlanta. She offers training and seminars on image management, workplace etiquette, and social skillsnecessary to succeed in life professionally and personally. Contactat:  [email protected]        www.successfulimage.biz