Deborah OConnor September 10, 2013

We all dine out at one time or another, for business as well as pleasure. There is a wealth of information on how to do this correctly and I have been asked once again to elucidate on the intricacies of business dining.

•    Making reservations can make things easier. If you are arranging a business lunch or dinner, be sure to ask pertinent questions regarding private rooms, special dietary requirements, and wheelchair access. If you want a specific table, this is the time to reserve it. If for some reason you need to cancel your luncheon meeting, be sure to cancel your reservations.

•    Arrive at the restaurant early to be sure everything is in order. Speak to the manager or maître d’ to ensure that things have been done as requested. This will give you time to make changes if necessary.

•    Some restaurants will not seat parties that are not complete. If you do arrive early and you are seated, do not order anything and do not touch anything. Do not put your napkin on your lap, do not drink your water, and definitely do not eat the bread and butter. How embarrassing it would be if your host arrives to find you with your mouth full of bread, crumbs on the tablecloth, and a puddle of water around your glass. Simply sit quietly and wait for your host.  

•    If you arrive to find you have been given a less-than-great table, speak to the mâitre d’. Ask for a better table and they will accommodate you if there is one available.

•    Waiters should be called ‘waiter’ and waitresses are properly called ‘Miss’.

•    If you have complaints regarding noise or boisterous patrons, ask the maître d’ to intervene. Do not try to do it yourself.

•    If wine is to be served, the wine list will be given to the host. He who pays chooses.

•    When the meal is served, the host does not begin until everyone has been served.

•    If one has a complaint about the food, summon the waiter and discreetly explain the problem. It should be taken care of. Do not disturb the other diners if possible.

•    No plate should be cleared until all diners are finished. The proper way to signal that you are finished is the ’10-20’ position of your silverware. Your knife and fork should be laid across your plate with the tines and blade at 10:00 o’clock and the bottoms at 4:00 o’clock, hence the term ‘10-20’. Most waiters know this and appreciate it when you signal. The crossover of knife and fork signals that you are taking a break and have not finished your meal.

•    The person who asks others to dine is the one who pays the restaurant tab and should make this clear at the time of the invitation. The person who asks the waiter to bring the bill is the one who will be expected to pay it. These two should be the same. There is no need to make the grand gesture to reach for the bill. An offer to reciprocate is always appreciated.

Deborah O’Connor is a social strategist and founder and president of Successful Image LLC with offices in Columbia and Atlanta. She offers training and seminars on image management, workplace etiquette, and social skills necessary to succeed in life professionally and personally. Contact at:  [email protected]        www.successfulimage.biz