Debunking the myth that you have to be a jerk to be successful
January 5, 2018
By Brian Maynor
Steve Jobs, Jeff Bezos, Mark Zuckerberg and Bill Gates.
These are some of the most successful people in the world whose creations actually changed the world, but they are also known as some of the biggest jerks in the world.
The belief that in order to succeed you have to be a jerk is sadly founded on truth, but that doesn’t prove the premise. Dysfunctional control freaks, egomaniacs and hot heads are common traits of successful people, but those traits aren’t what lead to their success.
Here is a breakdown of why a link was created between being a jerk and being successful, and why it isn’t exactly true:
1. Kindness is a weakness. The idea that being successful and nice is mutually exclusive is based on this concept. While it is rare that we meet people who go out of their way to help others, but it is all too common that those people are taken advantage of and exploited. In the competitive world, someone who puts others first is often manipulated and stepped on by others climbing to the top, without ever being rewarded themselves.
2. Mistaken Passion. Success doesn’t happen without passion. When you look at the most successful people, they are all driven by a singular passion. Achievers are so laser focused on this passion and desired outcome that there is very little room for social skills, compassion and other ‘soft skills’. The lack of those skills, or use of those skills is what classifies them as jerks, but not the reason they are successful. Their passion, focus and determination are the reason they’re successful.
3. How badly do you want to succeed? Success does not come without a cost, and that usually means the vision comes above all else. Spending time being nice, supportive, indulgent and tactful take time, energy and focus away from that vision. If you want to change the world you really can’t do that if you’re worried about what others think of you or interested in making friends. Hence, how badly do you want to succeed?
Time is a limited commodity, and people on a mission to reach the top have to maximize every second. That often means they come across as being jerks, because they simply don’t have time to be nice. However, the important thing to remember is that being a jerk isn’t what caused their success; it’s a byproduct of their singular focus and passion.
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I am always curious to hear about your weekend wardrobe dilemmas and help make your work wardrobe pull double duty. Email your questions, quandaries and conundrums to [email protected]. Also find each of these storyboards at http://brianmaynor.polyvore.com with links to purchase each item.
About Brian Maynor
Brian Maynor has built a reputation as one of the leading style coaches in the Southeast and is quickly expanding his eponymous company, BRIAN MAYNOR and his FIND, FLATTER & FLAUNT line of image consulting services. A professional with a fresh, upbeat and down-to-earth personality and boundless creative energy, he works frequently with with local celebrities; Fortune 500 companies and nonprofit organizations; modeling agencies; fashion designers; production companies; record labels; media and individuals. A regular contributor to various fashion blogs and online communities, Brian Maynor is one of the most trusted and recognized style experts in the region, utilizing his education and training as a broadcast journalist to serve as a style lecturer, emcee, and commentator for over a decade. He has appeared at fashion shows, expos, and charity fundraisers, as well as events with big brands like Banana Republic, Ann Taylor, Chico’s and Macy’s. His approach is innovative, creative and fashion-forward, balancing fresh, modern styles with classic pieces to keep one’s look grounded. To learn more, visit http://www.brianmaynor.com.
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