Do you have professional jealousy?
April 13, 2017
By Brian Maynor
Professional motivation often stems from the success of others, but when we get too caught up in comparing ourselves to others it can lead to professional jealousy, and that’s not healthy.
We’ve all seen coworkers or colleagues get promoted over us, have amazing opportunities or recognition dropped in their laps or just seem to have life figured out, and when that happens jealousy rears its ugly head very quickly. However, what is surprising to most people is the fact that jealousy is introspective, and has nothing to do with anyone else.
Jealousy is rooted in our own feelings of insecurity, self-doubt and inferiority that we project onto others. It’s those pesky negative thoughts that hijack our mind and our behavior, but there are ways to stop them.
Here are a few ideas on how you can stop jealousy in its tracks, particularly at the office, and a few truths to remember:
1. Acknowledge the negative thoughts, but then let them go. This is true for thoughts about yourself as well as others. If you hang onto them, they will only get worse and multiple, just like weeds.
2. You are not the sum of what others think of you, but what you think of yourself.
3. Bring your focus back to yourself. When you’re working hard pause for a moment and ask yourself, ‘am I doing this for my own satisfaction, or for someone else’s?’ If the answer is anyone but yourself then stop. It just takes a moment to reshape your priorities, and place yourself back on top.
4. Your worth and happiness are not dependent upon the praise and recognition of others.
5. Don’t neglect to congratulate yourself. It’s easy to offer praise and commendations to others when they succeed, but you should also offer them to yourself. Most of us rarely celebrate our own successes, even the small ones, and that’s a shame. Our own successes, whether great or small, deserve our recognition, whether that’s a dessert or a bottle of wine.
6. Stop comparing our beginnings to someone else’s middle.
The most important thing to remember is that our careers, like life, are not a competition. There are no prizes for reaching a goal first or climbing the corporate ladder higher. That doesn’t mean we should always avoid comparing our situation to others. Just don’t obsess over it. Comparisons should motivate you to become better, not bitter.
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I am always curious to hear from you and what you see in the workplace. Send your questions, comments and pet peeves to [email protected]. Also find each of these storyboards at http://brianmaynor.polyvore.com with links to purchase each item.
About Brian Maynor
Brian Maynor has built a reputation as one of the leading style coaches in the Southeast and is quickly expanding his eponymous company, BRIAN MAYNOR and his FIND, FLATTER & FLAUNT line of image consulting services. A professional with a fresh, upbeat and down-to-earth personality and boundless creative energy, he works frequently with with local celebrities; Fortune 500 companies and nonprofit organizations; modeling agencies; fashion designers; production companies; record labels; media and individuals. A regular contributor to various fashion blogs and online communities, Brian Maynor is one of the most trusted and recognized style experts in the region, utilizing his education and training as a broadcast journalist to serve as a style lecturer, emcee, and commentator for over a decade. He has appeared at fashion shows, expos, and charity fundraisers, as well as events with big brands like Banana Republic, Ann Taylor, Chico’s and Macy’s. His approach is innovative, creative and fashion-forward, balancing fresh, modern styles with classic pieces to keep one’s look grounded. To learn more, visit http://www.brianmaynor.com.
