Face the Facts: We’re never going to be “caught up” and that’s ok
July 24, 2018
By Brian Maynor
I can’t believe it’s time for ‘back to school’ commercials and sales. Where has the summer gone, and why haven’t I gotten as much done as I planned?
You don’t have to be in school to look forward to summer breaks, but as an adult they take on a whole different expectation. For many professionals I know, the slower pace of summer is a time to wrap up languishing projects or housekeeping chores they never seem to get to the rest of the year, but that rarely actually happens. Before they know it, summer is over and the cycle of feeling guilt and shame over uncompleted projects begins again.
The fact is there will always be more work to do than we have time to complete, and we should never let that make us feel guilty or ashamed.
Instead here are three things we can do that will stop those feelings or prevent them all together:
1. Exercise self-compassion. If we had a friend in the same position, no doubt we would encourage them to be kind to and give themselves a break, and that’s the exact same advice we need to give ourselves. Self-compassion has been shown to alleviate the negative feelings of shame.
2. Refocus on our accomplishments. It doesn’t matter how large the gap is between what we have accomplished and what we want to accomplish, if we focus on it then we are feeding the feelings of disappointment and dissatisfaction. Instead, we need to shift our focus back to what we have accomplished. This gives us a sense of pride and that is the best way to combat feelings of guilt.
3. Practice acceptance. The Serenity Prayer says it best, “…give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change…” and having more work to do than time to do it is one of those things. Feeling guilty won’t get the work done, neither will feeling ashamed. We can only do our best and accepting the situation for what it is may not make our to do list any shorter, but it will help us stop beating ourselves up about always having one.
Guilt and shame can be motivational, but only when we have the power to change the situation and get things done. When we are already working as hard and as diligently as we can is not one of those times. In those moments, guilt and shame are feelings we latch on to because we feel like failures or slacker, but in reality we are neither.
I’m always excited to hear from you, so please email your questions, quandaries and conundrums to [email protected].
About Brian Maynor
Brian Maynor has built a reputation as one of the leading style coaches in the Southeast and is quickly expanding his eponymous company, BRIAN MAYNOR and his FIND, FLATTER & FLAUNT line of image consulting services. A professional with a fresh, upbeat and down-to-earth personality and boundless creative energy, he works frequently with with local celebrities; Fortune 500 companies and nonprofit organizations; modeling agencies; fashion designers; production companies; record labels; media and individuals. A regular contributor to various fashion blogs and online communities, Brian Maynor is one of the most trusted and recognized style experts in the region, utilizing his education and training as a broadcast journalist to serve as a style lecturer, emcee, and commentator for over a decade. He has appeared at fashion shows, expos, and charity fundraisers, as well as events with big brands like Banana Republic, Ann Taylor, Chico’s and Macy’s. His approach is innovative, creative and fashion-forward, balancing fresh, modern styles with classic pieces to keep one’s look grounded. To learn more, visit http://www.brianmaynor.com.
