Is going with the flow really a bad thing?

By Brian Maynor

 

We’ve all heard the expression go with the flow, and understand it’s a metaphor that looks at navigating life like a river, but somewhere along the way the idea has become associated with being lazy, passive and listless.

To literally go with the flow means to use the power and current of the river to help us along instead of expending energy fighting against it.  While the effort needed to propel ourselves along may be lighter, going with the flow requires awareness, presence of mind and the ability to adapt quickly to changing currents.

The idea that going with the flow means we kick back and let the boat steer itself is just as dangerous in theory as it is in reality.

Here are some other misconceptions about the idea of going with the flow:

1.   Going with the flow means having no direction.  There is a little bit of truth to this notion, but to go with the flow doesn’t mean we have no idea where we want to go. It simply means we’re open to multiple ways of getting there, or changing our destination along the way.   In order to go with the flow, we have to see the destination as less important than the process of getting there.  This is more in line with the idea that “life is a journey; not a destination.”

2.    Going with the flow is easy.  A lot of people rebel against the idea of going with the flow because they don’t trust their navigation skills and afraid they will never reach their destination.  Going with the flow may take less effort to move forward, but it still requires us to steer our ship and deal with any issues along the way.  Trusting the river to carry us forward means we are still in control of where we’re going.  We just don’t have to divide our efforts between navigating and propelling ourselves forward.   At some level, we are trusting in something other than ourselves, which can be terrifying.

3.    Going with the flow is irresponsible.  Not only does going with the flow mean we may reach our destination faster, it also helps us see that modifying our plans midway is just part of the process.  This can help us stop clinging to plans and ideas that aren’t working, relationships that aren’t fulfilling, and paths that just aren’t open.  While we may not want to recognize them, it is more responsible to adapt and change our tactics or destination than to continue fighting a loosing battle.

Life is like a very wide, long river with multiple currents and ways of getting to the same destination.  Does it really matter how we got there in the end?

 

 

I’m always excited to hear from you, so please email your questions, quandaries and conundrums to [email protected].

 

About Brian Maynor

Brian Maynor has built a reputation as one of the leading style coaches in the Southeast and is quickly expanding his eponymous company, BRIAN MAYNOR and his FIND, FLATTER & FLAUNT line of image consulting services. A professional with a fresh, upbeat and down-to-earth personality and boundless creative energy, he works frequently with with local celebrities; Fortune 500 companies and nonprofit organizations; modeling agencies; fashion designers; production companies; record labels; media and individuals. A regular contributor to various fashion blogs and online communities, Brian Maynor is one of the most trusted and recognized style experts in the region, utilizing his education and training as a broadcast journalist to serve as a style lecturer, emcee, and commentator for over a decade. He has appeared at fashion shows, expos, and charity fundraisers, as well as events with big brands like Banana Republic, Ann Taylor, Chico’s and Macy’s. His approach is innovative, creative and fashion-forward, balancing fresh, modern styles with classic pieces to keep one’s look grounded. To learn more, visit http://www.brianmaynor.com.