How to juggle texts, emails, phone calls and drop-ins

By Brian Maynor

 

Beads of sweat forming on our brow.  Mind racing.  Body tenses.  Eyes darting.

These are typical signs of fight-or-flight syndrome, so why do they happen when we get a text from a friend, a call from our significant other, or a coworker stopping by to chat?

The short answer is because of expectations.

We live in a world of instant communication, and with that the expectation of instant responses.  But that isn’t always possible.  Especially when we are pulled in multiple directions at the same time.  The guilt we feel for not being able to meet that expectation can lead to these fight-or-flight symptoms.

Here are three tips to help alleviate the stress and help maintain our relationships when we just don’t have time to connect with them in the moment:

1.   Communicate our boundaries.  We talk a lot about setting boundaries in our lives for various things, but when they involve other people we have to communicate them as well.  While not all communications carry the same sense of urgency, it’s OK to set priorities, and not just when to reach out but also how to reach out.  Personally I hate talking on the phone, and will often let calls go to voicemail that remain unchecked for hours.  Texts and emails will always get a quicker response, and in that order.  So when talking to people I always tell them I respond quickest to texts, then email and a lastly to phone calls, and I don’t feel guilty about it.  I’m simply communicating my boundaries from the beginning and setting their expectation in alignment with mine.  Since my schedule is flexible, I don’t stress a specific time of day that is better for reaching out to me, but that could be another boundary to set as well.

2.    Pad or schedule.  I am well aware that time crunches make me cranky.  Whether it’s running late or rushing to meet a deadline, when I’m pressed for time I’m more curt and dismissive because my focus is all on the matter at hand.  If you can relate to that, it’s important how we manage our time but sometimes delays are out of our control.  When dealing with work schedules, it’s a good idea to pad our schedule with small breaks, especially on busy days.  Blocking out 10-15 minutes here or there gives us time to sit down and eat something, clear our head or catch up on our texts/emails/and phone calls.

3.    Maintain perspective.  Yes our focus is important, but so are our relationships. Sometimes we lash out at or avoid the people we most want to talk to because we feel guilty about not being available when they reach out.  To curb this guilt take a moment and be grateful we have people in our lives that care about us and reach out to connect with us.  Work is important and fulfilling, but happiness comes from our relationships and there is a happy medium in balancing the two.  A simple acknowledgment of the call and plan to connect later in the day or evening will alleviate our guilt and give us something to look forward to after a busy day.

Friends, family and coworkers reaching out to us during the day shouldn’t be a source of stress.  It should be a bright spot in our day.  Hopefully these tips will help keep it that way.

 

Click here or on the images below to learn more about the outfit.

 

 

Click here or on the images below to learn more about the outfit.

 

 

I am always curious to hear about your weekend wardrobe dilemmas and help make your work wardrobe pull double duty.  Email your questions, quandaries and conundrums to [email protected].  Also find each of these storyboards at http://brianmaynor.polyvore.com with links to purchase each item.

 

About Brian Maynor

Brian Maynor has built a reputation as one of the leading style coaches in the Southeast and is quickly expanding his eponymous company, BRIAN MAYNOR and his FIND, FLATTER & FLAUNT line of image consulting services. A professional with a fresh, upbeat and down-to-earth personality and boundless creative energy, he works frequently with with local celebrities; Fortune 500 companies and nonprofit organizations; modeling agencies; fashion designers; production companies; record labels; media and individuals. A regular contributor to various fashion blogs and online communities, Brian Maynor is one of the most trusted and recognized style experts in the region, utilizing his education and training as a broadcast journalist to serve as a style lecturer, emcee, and commentator for over a decade. He has appeared at fashion shows, expos, and charity fundraisers, as well as events with big brands like Banana Republic, Ann Taylor, Chico’s and Macy’s. His approach is innovative, creative and fashion-forward, balancing fresh, modern styles with classic pieces to keep one’s look grounded. To learn more, visit http://www.brianmaynor.com.

 

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