Sometimes it’s impossible to leave your personal life at home
March 7, 2018
By Brian Maynor
A longstanding rule of professionalism is to leave your personal life at home, but sometimes that isn’t possible.
At some point in time we all face stressful life events, whether it’s a health crisis, personal trauma or other major life event. No matter the cause, all of these events create personal turmoil that can inevitably spill over into our professional lives.
When this happens, we want to think our colleagues and employers will understand and supportive, but should we even tell them? Most of us aren’t comfortable asking for help let a lone support like flexible hours, a reduced schedule or extended time off.
Here is some advice from Jane Dutton, professor at the University of Michigan’s Ross School of Business, on how to navigate a personal crisis before it starts impacting our work performance:
1. Figure out what you need. Before we can know what to ask for, we have to know what we need. This means we have to be honest with ourselves and decide where we need help the most. When we make this assessment, it might turn out we don’t need as many professional concessions as we feared.
2. Assess the company culture. Whether large or small, some companies have policies and protocols in place for dealing with situations involving a personal crisis, and if that’s the case we shouldn’t hesitate to enlist the services and help offered. If the company doesn’t have a formal procedure, there can be a lot more uncertainty about professional repercussions as well as the company’s ability and willingness to offer the help we are seeking. While that should never stop us from seeking support, but it will impact the ‘how’ and ‘what’ we request.
3. Decide if we’re comfortable sharing details about our life. We all have different comfort levels when it comes to sharing details about our personal lives at work. Personally, I am a very private person but when I was in this situation, I found a balance by confiding only in my direct superior and letting them manage who needed to know what and when. It was less pressure and stress on me, which helped me focus on dealing with the crisis.
4. Set appropriate boundaries. Just because you choose to share what’s going on, doesn’t mean we have to share every detail of the situation. It’s okay, and actually better, to set boundaries with what information is shared and with whom. Most people aren’t interested in the gory details of the situation. Instead, hit the highlights and focus on how the situation impacts them. If someone is constantly asking for updates or probing you for details, redirect the conversation back to work or simply shut it down.
5. There is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ way to deal with these situations. We all handle crisis situations differently, and that’s ok. Whether we choose to throw ourselves into work as a distraction, or step back to have more time and energy to focus on dealing with the crisis, we should always do what is best for us.
Navigating a personal crisis is never easy or straightforward, but it’s important that we never feel alone or afraid to ask for the help we need. It’s natural to lean on friends and family, but sometimes we need to lean on our colleagues and employers as well.
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I am always curious to hear from you and what you see in the workplace. Send your questions, comments and pet peeves to [email protected]. Also find each of these storyboards at http://brianmaynor.polyvore.com with links to purchase each item.
About Brian Maynor
Brian Maynor has built a reputation as one of the leading style coaches in the Southeast and is quickly expanding his eponymous company, BRIAN MAYNOR and his FIND, FLATTER & FLAUNT line of image consulting services. A professional with a fresh, upbeat and down-to-earth personality and boundless creative energy, he works frequently with with local celebrities; Fortune 500 companies and nonprofit organizations; modeling agencies; fashion designers; production companies; record labels; media and individuals. A regular contributor to various fashion blogs and online communities, Brian Maynor is one of the most trusted and recognized style experts in the region, utilizing his education and training as a broadcast journalist to serve as a style lecturer, emcee, and commentator for over a decade. He has appeared at fashion shows, expos, and charity fundraisers, as well as events with big brands like Banana Republic, Ann Taylor, Chico’s and Macy’s. His approach is innovative, creative and fashion-forward, balancing fresh, modern styles with classic pieces to keep one’s look grounded. To learn more, visit http://www.brianmaynor.com.
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