The often misunderstood element of our image
September 13, 2017
By Brian Maynor
When we think about our image, and particularly first impressions, we often think about placing our best foot forward.
Whether it’s for a job interview or a first date, we all tend to dress up a little more, polish our social skills, prepare a little more and even modulate our voice in hopes of impressing and exceeding someone’s expectations.
That’s normal, but can create real problems when taken too far. Our image should not be a character we play or mask we wear that completely obscures our true selves, but rather a variation that highlights the best versions of ourselves.
We all have three layers of our identity: our true self; the self we show to our close family and friends, and the self we show the world. Here is a breakdown of each layer:
1. The self we show the world. This is the self we show during interviews, first dates and events or social functions. It’s the version of ourselves that is the most conforming to who we think we should be around others in order to be successful, or liked. This layer can also create a considerable amount of pressure to change our core values, thoughts and actions so they align with what others want.
2. The self we show our close friends and family. While we may be a closer version of our true selves with our friends and family, we still censor and monitor our behavior and what we share with them. Think about the holidays, and how we have to prepare ourselves and rehearse what we are going to say or do. We know they love us, but unless we’re in the middle of a crisis, we don’t let our guard down entirely.
3. Our true self. This is our core self; the very embodiment of who we are, what we think and how we feel. Some of us share this part of our identity with our closest and truest loved ones, while others keep it hidden and locked away even from themselves. Sharing this layer of ourselves requires extreme vulnerability, which is part of the reason we keep it guarded, and why we can become defensive or angry when criticized or challenged at this level. There is no pretending at this level, and any criticism strikes at the core of who we truly are, and not just a version of ourselves we’ve created.
Our ideal image is one that presents the best version of ourselves, while still remaining authentic. It’s okay to polish and package who we are depending on our audience, but we should always be using elements of our true selves. After all, the purpose of creating our image is to highlight who we are, not hide it.
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I am always curious to hear from you and what you see in the workplace. Send your questions, comments and pet peeves to [email protected]. Also find each of these storyboards at http://brianmaynor.polyvore.com with links to purchase each item.
About Brian Maynor
Brian Maynor has built a reputation as one of the leading style coaches in the Southeast and is quickly expanding his eponymous company, BRIAN MAYNOR and his FIND, FLATTER & FLAUNT line of image consulting services. A professional with a fresh, upbeat and down-to-earth personality and boundless creative energy, he works frequently with with local celebrities; Fortune 500 companies and nonprofit organizations; modeling agencies; fashion designers; production companies; record labels; media and individuals. A regular contributor to various fashion blogs and online communities, Brian Maynor is one of the most trusted and recognized style experts in the region, utilizing his education and training as a broadcast journalist to serve as a style lecturer, emcee, and commentator for over a decade. He has appeared at fashion shows, expos, and charity fundraisers, as well as events with big brands like Banana Republic, Ann Taylor, Chico’s and Macy’s. His approach is innovative, creative and fashion-forward, balancing fresh, modern styles with classic pieces to keep one’s look grounded. To learn more, visit http://www.brianmaynor.com.
