The Preparation Backlash & How It Can Do More Harm Than Good
July 19, 2016
By Brian Maynor
We’re taught from an early age it’s best to always be prepared. Whether it’s for a job interview, test or just dealing with everyday life, but new research is calling that axiom into question, especially when the situation involves other people.
Studies are now focusing on the importance of being relatable when it comes to influencing and ultimately winning the trust and confidence of other people, and that is only possible through the perception of warmth and confidence. So what does that have to do with preparation? Surprisingly everything.
Here are a few of the ways being too prepared can actually hurt your perception of warmth and competence and what to do about it:
1. Preparation can slip into autopilot. When you’ve researched, written, read and rehearsed a presentation or preparation materials literally to the point of reciting it in your sleep you’ve taken preparation too far. Instead of simply becoming comfortable with the material you’ve turned it into a well-rehearsed routine, which means your brain will check out during the presentation and all personality, warmth and relatability will be lost.
2. Break away from the script. For some people this idea is terrifying, but it is honestly the best way to actually engage your audience, even if it’s just one other person, and build some rapport with them. Having the courage to do this means you can drive the conversation in the direction that is most engaging, relatable, or informative to your audience, establishing your credentials as an expert who is both confident and warm.
3. Slow the process down. Again, another scary prospect, especially for people who hate public speaking or any kind of spotlight and whose ultimate goal is to have it over with as quickly as possible. This drive to reach the end quickly only reinforces the autopilot syndrome. When you answer questions too quickly, or too smoothly your authenticity suffers and instead of appearing genuine you simply look rehearsed. A simple pause after a question will do wonders to alleviate this perception, and if you can work in a key word from the question all the better.
4. Focus on creating a conversation. Everyone can tell the difference between a conversation and a speech, because conversations are engaging on multiple levels and resonate more personally. Most of us tune out speeches for the most part and rely on snap judgments or preconceived ideas.
5. Acknowledge any issues directly. Whether it’s the fact that you’re suffering from a cold or just nervous by acknowledging an issue upfront and directly you remove any stigma, preoccupation and power it has over you and your audience. It’s out there, addressed and released so you can focus on the issue at hand, which is way more important that worrying about a runny nose or wiping a sweaty brow.
While there is definitely a benefit and need for preparation, it goes too far when you start obsessing over every little detail, or rehearsing exactly what you will say. Warmth, confidence and adaptability can’t be rehearsed. They simply come from having faith and trust in yourself.
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I am always curious to hear from you and what you see in the workplace. Send your questions, comments and pet peeves to [email protected]. Also find each of these storyboards at http://brianmaynor.polyvore.com with links to purchase each item.
About Brian Maynor
Brian Maynor has built a reputation as one of the leading style coaches in the Southeast and is quickly expanding his eponymous company, BRIAN MAYNOR and his FIND, FLATTER & FLAUNT line of image consulting services. A professional with a fresh, upbeat and down-to-earth personality and boundless creative energy, he works frequently with with local celebrities; Fortune 500 companies and nonprofit organizations; modeling agencies; fashion designers; production companies; record labels; media and individuals. A regular contributor to various fashion blogs and online communities, Brian Maynor is one of the most trusted and recognized style experts in the region, utilizing his education and training as a broadcast journalist to serve as a style lecturer, emcee, and commentator for over a decade. He has appeared at fashion shows, expos, and charity fundraisers, as well as events with big brands like Banana Republic, Ann Taylor, Chico’s and Macy’s. His approach is innovative, creative and fashion-forward, balancing fresh, modern styles with classic pieces to keep one’s look grounded. To learn more, visit http://www.brianmaynor.com.
