There’s no ‘one size fits most’ form of disappointment or way to handle it
September 27, 2017
By Brian Maynor
Disappointment is a part of life, but so is overcoming it.
The fact that we all experience is probably its only universal factor, because we all experience it very differently. We all have areas in our lives where we are more resilient than others, which are why what I find disappointing may be no big deal for you. Luckily that doesn’t really matter.
Hurt, pain, disappointment and trauma aren’t competitions.
Comparing our disappointment to someone else’s is pointless. We simply have to accept it so we can move on, and here are a few ways to do just that:
1. Practice flexibility. Life does not go as according to our plan, and the sooner we accept that the better off we’ll be. That doesn’t mean we should stop setting goals and start expecting disappointment. It simply means being prepared for all possibilities.
2. Be more accepting. Resilience is a matter of continuously accepting and coping with our emotions, not just when we’re stressed. There is no judgment or expectation associated with accepting our emotions. It is simply acknowledging them as valid. This is by far a healthier approach than denying or ignoring them.
3. Take a helping hand. Friends, family, colleagues and peers are often eager to lend a helping hand in difficult times yet how often do we push them away? Probably more often than not, which is the last thing we should do. These people are our support system and want to help.
4. Remember it’s not a competition. Disappointment, hurt and trauma don’t need qualification, comparison or validation from anyone else, which means no one else has to understand it. All that matters is that we are experiencing it. So, the next time someone questions it or dismisses it, don’t get offended and lash out. There’s no need for it. Arguing and attempting to prove your feelings is a futile exercise.
5. Practice self-awareness. Knowing our triggers and coping mechanisms, as well as things that prevent us from coping, are important to building resilience because that’s what makes us stronger. Form doesn’t matter as long as it gives us strength to deal with difficult situations, accept truths and face our fears.
The saying ‘what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger’ is true but it takes some work on our part. Just remember it’s not a competition, and our feelings don’t have to be validated. When we accept them and stop comparing them we can start getting over them sooner.
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I am always curious to hear from you and what you see in the workplace. Send your questions, comments and pet peeves to [email protected]. Also find each of these storyboards at http://brianmaynor.polyvore.com with links to purchase each item.
About Brian Maynor
Brian Maynor has built a reputation as one of the leading style coaches in the Southeast and is quickly expanding his eponymous company, BRIAN MAYNOR and his FIND, FLATTER & FLAUNT line of image consulting services. A professional with a fresh, upbeat and down-to-earth personality and boundless creative energy, he works frequently with with local celebrities; Fortune 500 companies and nonprofit organizations; modeling agencies; fashion designers; production companies; record labels; media and individuals. A regular contributor to various fashion blogs and online communities, Brian Maynor is one of the most trusted and recognized style experts in the region, utilizing his education and training as a broadcast journalist to serve as a style lecturer, emcee, and commentator for over a decade. He has appeared at fashion shows, expos, and charity fundraisers, as well as events with big brands like Banana Republic, Ann Taylor, Chico’s and Macy’s. His approach is innovative, creative and fashion-forward, balancing fresh, modern styles with classic pieces to keep one’s look grounded. To learn more, visit http://www.brianmaynor.com.
