They’re Baaa-aaack!
August 23, 2013
As the students return, my stress level rises.
By Jillian Owens
August 22, 2013
Ah! Late August in Columbia! The summer is winding down, and the days of sweltering afternoons and constant perspiration are coming to a close. But as temperatures begin their slow decline, there’s a seismic shift in the very core of Soda City society.
I’m referring to the return of the College Students. Whether they hail from the University of South Carolina, Benedict College, Columbia College, or whatever other colleges we have here, they arrive all at once and in droves. One day you’re able to stop by Target to pick up a bar of soap like a normal human being, and the next you’re swarmed by whiny coeds with their parents, griping about the quality of the towels they aren’t having to pay for (a Thanks, Mom and Dad! would be nice to hear. Just saying).
Here’s my personal, totally non-scientific and overgeneralized list of the pros and cons of living in this college town.
The Negative: Parking? What Parking?
It’s easy to get spoiled by the abundant amount of parking spaces available during the summer. Running a bit late to meet friends at your fave food joint? Don’t worry! You’ll probably find a space right near the front door! Want to attend that cool art event? Do it! You might have to walk a block, but that’s about it!
But then the younglings arrive and everything changes! Plan on allowing an extra 10-15 minutes to find a parking space when making dinner plans. You’d better get to that art show unfashionably early as well, or you might just end up throwing your hands up in the air and cursing to the winds at your fate. I JUST want a place to put my flippin CAR!, you’ll find yourself shouting to all the other poor drivers who have been circling the same several blocks as you for the last 20 minutes.
The Positive: We wouldn’t have the amount of parking we do without the demand caused by our thriving student populace.
If you think parking is a pain with the students being back, imagine how impossible it would be if they weren’t here at all. There would be a much lower demand, and therefore less availability. Plus, Columbia is adding new parking all the time. It can only get better, right?
The Negative: Bars with Cheap Drinks? Good luck, buddy.
Summer is my favorite time to go to all those bars with absurdly cheap drink specials. $1.95 liquor drinks? Don’t mind if I do! $3.00 pitchers? Sure! I’ll bring a friend!
But then classes at USC start up again, and bars that were once comfy, half-empty, and rustic are now crowded with squealing blondes and guys who vastly overuse the phrase stoked That and the faint smell of vomit that returns every late August make most grownups flee to safer (and sadly, pricier) gin joints.
The Positive: Cheap bars can’t survive on one glass of wine per person.
Do you think Five Points would exist without these beer-guzzling gluttons? As they are young and have a faster hangover recovery time, they’re drinking way more than your average adult. By consuming more, they’re providing income for Columbia bars that would probably struggle if left to depend on Thirty-somethings like myself that have to utter, Ugh…I can’t drink anymore. I have to work in the morning. after two glasses of chardonnay.
The Negative: Wanna go for a walk? Watch out!
I work directly across from the University of South Carolina campus. During our famously hot season, I enjoy leisurely, if sweaty, walks around the horseshoe and the surrounding area in the middle of the day. It’s a great way to get a bit of exercise and re-focus! The birds are singing and even the squirrels seem friendly.
But then those blasted students come back and and attempt to maim you. They can’t drive. They just can’t. They don’t understand that whole The pedestrian has the right of way thing, or they’re too busy texting to notice. The sidewalks aren’t even safe. I have a theory that the ability to understand that you and your friends don’t have to walk in a horizontal line on the sidewalk doesn’t develop until you’re at least 25. I can’t count the number of times I’ve been shoulder-checked by someone who simply would not move out of the way. It’s like a game of chicken every day.
The Positive: At least they’re going to class.
Seriously. We want an educated community here in Columbia, and even if our lives are being put in jeopardy, at least these kids are bothering to show up.
While part of me loathes this time of year and how every place suddenly feels overcrowded, another kinder and more patient part of me accepts this influx and a necessary part of what makes our fair city thrive. These kids have ideas, dreams, and talents that will help Columbia grow. They’re out there volunteering, learning, and becoming the people who will hopefully change our world for the better.
In other words, I’ll try to do better about giving them all a little slack.
Jillian Owens is a writer, designer, motivational speaker, and eco-fashion revolutionary. A Columbia SC transplant, she graduated from the University of South Carolina with a BFA in Theatre and English. When she’s not gallivanting about, she’s busy refashioning ugly thrift store duds into fashionable frocks at ReFashionista.net. Jillian has been featured on The Rachael Ray Show, Good Afternoon America, ABC Columbia, Jasper Magazine, Skirt, Columbia Metropolitan, The Free Times, Grist, and NYC’s Guest of a Guest. She also reviews local theater productions for Jasper Magazine and Onstage Columbia.
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