To Break A Habit You Must First Recognize When You’re Repeating It

By Brian Maynor

 

 

We all have bad habits, but surprisingly most of them are continued out of habit rather than conscious choice.

These habits come in all shapes and sizes, and often have little to nothing to do with our skills or abilities.  For example, procrastination is something we all indulge in from time to time, but have you ever noticed if you always do it before starting a major project or approaching a deadline?  I’m going to go out on a limb and say ‘probably not’ simply because most of us are not that aware of our habits because they tend to occur subconsciously, especially the ones ingrained over the years.

Here are a few insights on habits and tips on how to break the bad ones:

1.    What is a habit?  Pattern of behavior aside, the American Journal of Psychology defines a habit as ‘a fixed way of thinking, willing or feeling acquired through previous repetition of a mental experience.’  These routines require no self-analysis, which means they can be unintentional, uncontrollable and essentially mindless, conditioned responses (a.k.a. auto pilot).

2.    Why do we rarely notice them?  Not only do habits occur subconsciously, when a routine is repeated in a consistent context a link is formed between the context and the action creating a conditioned response.  It’s why we can arrive at a destination without remembering the drive.  Driving has become a routine we can do without self-analysis thus allowing our minds to check out.

3.    Why are they hard to make and break?  For a response to become conditioned and imprinted in our neural pathways, it takes both time and repetition.  These are the keys to making and breaking a habit.

4.    Why do we create them?  Most often, habits are our way of coping with stress, anxiety, inadequacy or fear.  Whether it’s common nervous habits like nail biting, stammering and sniffling or procrastination, conditioned responses are created and triggered by specific emotions and often started at an early age.

5.    3 steps to break a habit.  Habits operate in a cycle: trigger, behavior, reward, so the first step is identifying the trigger.  Whether it’s a certain time of day; location; mood or emotion, identifying the cue is a huge step to breaking the habit.

The second step is changing your behavior.  Again, you have to be aware of your behavior before you can effectively change it, so pay attention to what you’re doing, and if you find yourself in the middle of a conditioned response jump up, literally.  Jarring yourself is the best way to break out of a conditioned response and bring your mind back to the situation.  From there, you can engage in changing your pattern of behavior.  You can also look back to when it started to help identify the trigger.

The final step is the reward.  This is what reinforces the action and compels us to do it again.  Rewards are more crucial when you’re trying to form a new habit than when you’re breaking one, but it’s good to know you have a legitimate reason to feel good and reward yourself with every step, even the small ones.

There’s nothing easy about breaking old habits, change never is, but it doesn’t have to be this daunting process you give up on before you ever begin.   Change happens over time and starts with managing a few minutes of your day better than you did the day before.

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I am always curious to hear from you and what you see in the workplace. Send your questions, comments and pet peeves to [email protected]. Also find each of these storyboards at http://brianmaynor.polyvore.com with links to purchase each item.

 

About Brian Maynor

Brian Maynor has built a reputation as one of the leading style coaches in the Southeast and is quickly expanding his eponymous company, BRIAN MAYNOR and his FIND, FLATTER & FLAUNT line of image consulting services. A professional with a fresh, upbeat and down-to-earth personality and boundless creative energy, he works frequently with with local celebrities; Fortune 500 companies and nonprofit organizations; modeling agencies; fashion designers; production companies; record labels; media and individuals. A regular contributor to various fashion blogs and online communities, Brian Maynor is one of the most trusted and recognized style experts in the region, utilizing his education and training as a broadcast journalist to serve as a style lecturer, emcee, and commentator for over a decade. He has appeared at fashion shows, expos, and charity fundraisers, as well as events with big brands like Banana Republic, Ann Taylor, Chico’s and Macy’s. His approach is innovative, creative and fashion-forward, balancing fresh, modern styles with classic pieces to keep one’s look grounded. To learn more, visit http://www.brianmaynor.com.