Business Greetings from Handshaking to Bowing

By Pamela Eyring, Director, The Protocol School of Washington

 Though all humans practice greeting rituals of some sort, they vary widely in different cultures.  Chinese and Japanese hold their hands to their sides and bow; Indians press their hands together in a praying position and tilt their heads to one side; Maoris in New Zealand rub noses; the French kiss both cheeks.

Our greetings have been adapted to our lifestyles throughout Western history.  Greek men, in a society where women were sub-citizens, developed a rather curious custom.  Upon meeting another man, they clasped each other’s right lower arms and touched their own testicles with their left hands.  This was probably a symbol of honesty.  In fact, the word testify is derived from testicle.  In pre-biblical times, people swore not on the Bible, but on their manhood, that is, their testicles.

Out of fear the ritual of shaking hands arose sometime during the Roman Empire.  When you met a stranger, you could turn and run, stand your ground and fight or clutch your weapon more firmly and proceed on your way.  In order to become friends, you first had to make sure the other man would not attack.  To be sure neither of you would grab his sword and lunge, you grasped right hands.  Thus the handshake was born – not of friendship but of mistrust.

In the business arena in the U.S. we notice persons nonverbally by their touch, and the main way we touch someone in the business here and abroad is with a handshake.  You are judged by your handshake far more than you know, and far more than you realize, you unconsciously judge others by the way they shake your hand.
 
When extending your hand, do so with your thumb up and out so that the other person can make good contact.  If you extend your hand with the thumb down and fingers curled, you can’t connect web to web.  Handshakes should always be given vertically.  Shake hands from the elbow, not the wrist or the shoulder.  Shake hands firmly and with only one squeeze.  Don’t pump up and down; two to three smooth strokes is plenty.

 Described herein are some handshakes to avoid here and abroad or you’ll find yourself in the Handshaker’s Hall of Shame!

 THE BONECRUSHER – This is an aggressive handshake that is very difficult to counter without demeaning yourself.  It’s the trademark of an aggressive person who is insecure.  Yes, women use this handshake too, even though it’s mostly used by men.

 THE FINGERTIP HOLDER – The initiator of this handshake lacks self-confidence.  The aim of the fingertip holder is to keep the receiver at a distance.  If this is a woman her message might be, Now I know I’m supposed to shake hands, but I want you to know, I’m still a lady.  When a man takes hold of a woman’s fingertips or givers her a limp handshake, it shows his inability to deal with a woman on a professional level.  As a general rule you can deflect the fingertip holder by holding your thumb up and pointing your fingers straight ahead.  Pointing your fingers downward is an invitation to someone to grab them.

 Be aware that a physical disability may affect how another person handles a handshake.  The person could be suffering from arthritis or some other physical ailment.  For example, Senator Dole’s right hand is withered from a war injury.  He shakes with his left hand.

 THE GLOVE HANDSHAKE – This handshake is also referred to as a politician’s, a minister’s, or a sympathy handshake.  It appears condescending when the initiator turns the recipient’s hand over horizontally rather than vertically.  This two-handed clasp should only be used with those you know well.  It is not appropriate in the business arena.

 All people are the same.  It is only their habits that are different. – Confucius

 Outside the U.S., protocol dictates that you shake hands with everyone in a group.  Don’t stop halfway through even a crowded room with a hello everyone wave to the rest.  This is considered a rejection of those you omitted, and everyone takes notice.

 Shake hands on arrival and departure.  The grip is firm, never hard.  However, in some cultures it will be lighter.  Avoid the dead fish handshake, which is universally unpopular.

 Western and Eastern Europeans reshake hands whenever they are apart for a period of time.  It’s polite to shake hands when you leave for lunch and when you return. 

 Shake hands with the oldest person or the one of senior rank and on down the line.  The ranking person extends his or her hand first.  Women shake hands with each other and with men.  It’s up to the woman to initiate the handshake with a man.  When an American woman fails to extend her hand to a European male executive, she loses credibility.

 Arab Countries – Men may accompany their light and lingering handshake with an embrace and kisses on both cheeks to other men and stand very close to one another when talking.  Handshaking is normal with Arab women who often travel to Western countries; however, it is not their custom in Arab countries.

 Turkey – Turkey is part of Europe, not the Middle East, to Turkish business people and government officials.  Never call a Turk an Arab.  They do not speak Arabic, nor think of themselves an Arab.  The Turkish handshake will be firm, and devout Muslims may avoid eye contact as a display of humble behavior.  Always rise when an elder enters a room and shake hands with elders first as a sign of respect.

 France – The French shake hands in one brisk stroke.  Latin Europeans and Latin Americans execute a light handshake that lingers twice as long as an American handshake.  Pulling the hand away too soon is interpreted as rejection.  A man may offer his hand to a woman, and he may kiss the top of a woman’s hand.

 Russia – Russians greet one another with a firm handshake.  Never shake hands over a threshold as it is considered bad luck; always step into the room to shake hands.

 Thailand – The traditional greeting is the wai which is the palms of both hands together with the fingers held upward in front of one’s face.  However, in business meetings expect that the Western handshake will be used.  Wait for the senior person to initiate a handshake.

 China – The Chinese greet with a bow, nod, wave, and with a light, lingering handshake.  Any of these gestures maybe used upon both greeting and departure.  When bowing, always bow from the shoulders and not the waist.  Wait for the Chinese to offer a hand first, and always greet the senior person first.  Chinese may also greet you with applause, and you should respond with applause.

 Japan – In Japan, shake hands with a single firm gesture.  Most Japanese businesspersons shake hands with visiting executives or combine the handshake with a slight bow.  It is polite to return a bow with a bow.

 The informal bow… a fifteen degree angle from the waist, with the hands left at the sides, is used throughout the day.  The traditional ojigi (oh-jee-gee) or bow is used both in greetings and farewells among the Japanese.  With each other, the Japanese bow from the waist.  The depth of the bow indicates the level of respect.

 TIPS:

• For clammy hands, spray them with a non-fragrant antiperspirant.  It works on your hands too!
• Name badges go on the right-hand side of the shoulder area.  When you extend your right hand fo
r a handshake, the line of sight is to the other person’s right side.
• Hold a glass in your left hand to avoid a cold, wet hand at parties.  Then your right hand is free to shake hands.
• In the U.S. business arena, shake a woman’s just as firmly as a man’s – today it’s not gender related.