What Do You Want?

By Brian Maynor

 

It’s a question we ask and answer a hundred times a day, but do you really stop and think about your answer?

For such a common question, it is deceptively simple when you take a second to actually think about ‘what you want.’  On top of that, when you start thinking about what you want, you will see how many of your decisions are based on other people.

Whether it’s deciding what to wear, order for lunch, or how to manage your career path, more often that not what you want is barely a factor in your decision.  Luckily you can change that with a little structure.  Some of the most common questions we answer when asked ‘what we want’ are:  “What do we think we deserve?” “What will be aligned with other people’s choices?”  “What will others think of our choice?”

If you want to stop deferring to others when trying to decide what you want, asking a few more questions may be the solution.  After all knowing what you want requires specificity and context.  Here are a few questions that will help:

What do you like?  By broadening the context of what you want to what you like you alleviate some of the pressure of picking just one thing.  This is really helpful when you’re at the beginning of the decision making process to find some general direction.  If you start with things you like, narrowing your focus and making decisions become a lot less stressful because you don’t have to be concerned about making a major mistake.

What will the result do for you?  Once you have a direction and idea of what you want, it’s helpful to clearly state the result you want or expect.  Not only does this further bring your goal into focus, it will allow you to determine if your decision and desired outcome are in congruent.

How will you know whether you have it?  This is the next logical step once determining what you want the result to be, because you need to know when you’ve reached it.  For some decisions this may be straightforward, like short-term or immediate gratification questions, but for long-term goal setting and career planning it really helps you maintain momentum by continuously setting new goals as well as tracking your progress with measurable markers.

Just because you can spout off an answer to the question ‘what do you want’ does not mean you actually know ‘what you want.’  Before you make your next decision, I challenge you to take a minute and really think about what you want, and notice all the other factors you think about or defer to when making your decision.  Is it really what you want after all?

 

Click here or on the images below to learn more about the outfit.

 

 

Click here or on the images below to learn more about the outfit.

 

 

 

 

 

I am always curious to hear from you and what you see in the workplace. Send your questions, comments and pet peeves to [email protected]. Also find each of these storyboards at http://brianmaynor.polyvore.com with links to purchase each item.

 

About Brian Maynor

Brian Maynor has built a reputation as one of the leading style coaches in the Southeast and is quickly expanding his eponymous company, BRIAN MAYNOR and his FIND, FLATTER & FLAUNT line of image consulting services. A professional with a fresh, upbeat and down-to-earth personality and boundless creative energy, he works frequently with with local celebrities; Fortune 500 companies and nonprofit organizations; modeling agencies; fashion designers; production companies; record labels; media and individuals. A regular contributor to various fashion blogs and online communities, Brian Maynor is one of the most trusted and recognized style experts in the region, utilizing his education and training as a broadcast journalist to serve as a style lecturer, emcee, and commentator for over a decade. He has appeared at fashion shows, expos, and charity fundraisers, as well as events with big brands like Banana Republic, Ann Taylor, Chico’s and Macy’s. His approach is innovative, creative and fashion-forward, balancing fresh, modern styles with classic pieces to keep one’s look grounded. To learn more, visit http://www.brianmaynor.com.