Don’t forget about table manners during the holidays
December 22, 2014By Deborah O’Connor
Tis’ the season to be jolly and dining out is part of this. Whether it be at a restaurant or someone’s home, everyone should be mindful of table manners. Here is a basic revue of the do’s and don’ts. And remember it is a good idea to share these tips with your children. They are your responsibility and it is never too early to teach them good table manners.
- Do not begin until the host or guest of honor begins, not even a sip of water.
- Liquids are to the right and solids to the left.
- You start from the outside utensils and work inward with each course.
- Courses will be served from the left and removed from the right.
- Liquids are poured from the right.
- Hold cutlery with the fingers, not the fists. The knife is not a dagger; the fork is not a broom handle.
- Do not put silverware partly on the table and partly on the plate.
- Once you have picked up a piece of cutlery, it should never touch the table again. Knives go on the plate, blade facing in.
- Never lift a piece of cutlery substantially above the plate. Don’t wave or thrust with your cutlery to emphasize a point.
- The “10:20” position with your silverware indicates to the wait staff that you are finished with that course.
- “Crossover” indicates that you are taking a break.
- Never chew with your mouth open.
- Do not speak with food in your mouth, no matter how much you want to inject a brilliant observation at a critical moment. Just finish chewing, and swallow the food and the timely remark together. Be consoled by the fact that you could have said just the right thing at the right moment, but you had too much class to speak with food in your mouth.
- Don’t flap your napkin to unfold it, and don’t wave it around. You are not hailing a cab.
- Dab delicately. Don’t rub or blot the lower part of your face.
- Don’t tuck your napkin in your collar, ever. The napkin belongs unfolded on your lap.
- If you leave the table, put the napkin on your chair and push the chair close to the table.
- Your mother was right. You should sit up straight. Avoid slouching or leaning on the table.
- Keep your elbows off the table.
- If you don’t know where to put your hands, put them in your lap.
- Gulping down your food is unhealthy and unattractive, no matter where you are dining.
- People dining together should have the same number of courses, and they should start and finish them at the same time. If you find that you are falling behind the others, stop talking long enough to catch up. If you have almost finished your entrée while others are just starting, stall.
- Put butter first on your bread plate (or dinner plate if there is no bread plate), not directly on the bread or roll.
- Don’t butter an entire piece of bread or a roll to have it ready for nibbles during the course of the meal. Instead, tear off a piece, butter it, and eat it one piece at a time.
- Accidents happen and they can happen to you, even though you are being really careful. The most important thing to remember is not to panic. React calmly and, if possible, cheerfully.
- If you spill something, don’t dramatize the incident by jumping up or yelling, “Watch out.” If you are in danger of getting wet, back away a little from the table and blot with your napkin and ask the server for another one. If you spill something on someone else, apologize calmly. Then offer to pay for whatever cleaning may be needed. Do not touch the other person. Let the victim handle the blotting and/or wiping. Offer your napkin and ask the server for a replacement.
- If someone leaves the table, don’t ask where they are going. It is rude.
- Don’t complain to your fellow diners about the quality of the food or service. If you are the host, talk to the restaurant manager later.
- If someone takes a pill at the table, don’t ask what it’s for. You may not want to know. If you must take medication at the table, do so without comment. No explanation is necessary.
- Don’t talk about your health, good or bad.
- Don’t dunk anything In your food.
- Never crumble crackers in your soup.
- When you have finished eating, do not push your plate away, and do not push your chair back from the table.
- Never blow on a liquid to cool it.
- If you belch, cover your mouth with your napkin, and say, “Excuse me” to no one in particular.
- Don’t pick at something stuck in your teeth or go through facial contortions trying to dislodge it with your tongue. If it is driving you crazy, excuse yourself and go to the restroom.
- Don’t leave a lipstick trail. If you don’t have a blotting tissue, detour to the restroom before sitting down.
- Never tilt your chair.
- If you are asked to pass the salt and pepper, always pass them together. They should stay together on the table throughout the meal.
With some preparation and forethought, dining during the holidays can be a pleasure.
Please feel free to send questions to Deborah at: www.successfulimage.biz.
She will answer them in her weekly column.
Deborah O’Connor is a social strategist and founder and president of Successful Image LLC with offices in Columbia and Atlanta. She offers training and seminars on image management, workplace etiquette, and social skills necessary to succeed in life professionally and personally. Contact at: [email protected] www.successfulimage.biz