Finding the scotch tape

June 26, 2024

By Jeff Becraft


Every once in a while there’s a semi-conversation that goes on in our household along the lines of what you’re going to read in the next couple of paragraphs.

We don’t have these conversations as much as we used to. When we were early in our marriage the scenario would go something like this: I would be looking for something… let’s say the scotch tape. I would be looking in the kitchen drawer. Now, this is the kitchen drawer. This is the drawer where everything finds its place. But I cannot find the scotch tape… and I have been looking for a while.

At this point in our marriage and for this scenario, we lived in a two-story duplex. I would be downstairs and Brenda was upstairs.
I would call out, “Brenda, do you know where the scotch tape is?”
She would call back down, “It’s in the kitchen drawer.”
I would say, “No it’s not.”
She would say back, “Yes it is.”
I would say, “No it’s not.”
She would say, “Yes, it is.”
I would say, “I’ve looked in the kitchen drawer. It’s not there. I’m telling you… it’s not there.”

Now, at the beginning of our marriage, these kinds of conversations would keep going. But during the next phase of our marriage, what would happen is my wife would walk down the stairs, go to the kitchen drawer, open the drawer, pull the scotch tape out, set it on the counter, close the drawer and walk away without saying a word.

Apparently, these kinds of conversations happen in more than just the Becraft household.

There are strengths and weaknesses in each of us.  It is not a competition.  It is a working together.

I wish I could say I have grown in finding things. But alas, I have not. Just yesterday I was looking for the Italian salad dressing and I couldn’t find it.  I thought, “I just bought a bottle of Italian dressing… (An item that was not on the grocery list… I just saw it and grabbed it.)  I was ready to ask Brenda what happened to it… and then I saw it – on the shelf of the door… right in front of me.  You see what my wife lives with.

Today is a great day to complement one another and work together in our strengths… and have grace in our weaknesses.


Jeff Becraft is the Director of Our Place of Hope and the Director Emeritus for Youth Corps and has dedicated much of his life to helping shift the vision of people’s lives. Our Place of Hope is a paradigm shift for people living with mental illness that encourages them to regain meaning, purpose, and hope for their lives. You can connect with Jeff at  [email protected].