The Downside Of Looking Your Best – Yes, There Can Be One

By Brian Maynor 

 

A proponent for everyone looking their best, my goal is always to boost confidence, courage and self-esteem, but what happens when those attributes go a bit too far?

Recently I read a post on The Harvard Business Review blog that looked at the connection between feeling attractive and attitudes toward social classes (You’re More Likely to Reject Hierarchies if You Feel Unattractive) and concluded that when you feel attractive you think of yourself as having higher social standing than people you perceive as less attractive.

This started me thinking about taking pride in your appearance. It’s not inherently bad to feel good because of how you look or make you an egomaniac as long as you keep your attitude in check. Here are a few less attractive qualities that can stem from unchecked attitudes about your image:

 

1.   Arrogance. Think of this as pride on steroids. Everyone loves wearing a new outfit or getting a new haircut, and sharing how great it feels to love your new look is fine, up to a point. Excessively focusing on how great your new look is can be annoying, but when you start putting yourself above others you know it’s gone too far. Taking pride in your appearance is important and encouraged, but doesn’t make you better than anyone else. The clothes don’t make the man after all.

2.   Elitism. This is a double-edged sword. When managed properly, having elite groups or accomplishments can encourage excellence and motivate people to achieve more. The darker side comes out when the focus is shifted from the success of achieving a goal to creating a clique with a sense of entitlement and superiority over everyone else. ‘Mean Girls’ was only funny because it was the movie.

3.   Intolerance. Probably the darkest of all emotions connected to pride, intolerance puts elitism into action like dismissal or separation. While this may sound extreme, it starts in small acts like ostracizing someone from a group project or assigning them a menial role. If you’re going to exclude someone or dismiss their contribution you better have a valid reason.

 

These less than desirable qualities should not overshadow all of the benefits and positive aspects that come from looking your best, or suggest in any way that investing in your appearance is not a worthwhile endeavor, but like everything in life there has to be balance.

If you feel pride is running amuck remember, or be reminded of, a time you felt unattractive. That quickly deflates an ego. And we’ve all felt unattractive at one time or another.

 

 

Click here or on the images below to learn more about the outfit.

 

 

Click here or on the images below to learn more about the outfit.

 

 

 

I am always curious to hear some of your weekend wardrobe dilemmas and challenges.  Please send your comments and questions to [email protected].  Also find each of these storyboards at http://brianmaynor.polyvore.com with links to purchase each item.

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About Brian Maynor

Brian Maynor has built a reputation as one of the leading style coaches in the Southeast and is quickly expanding his eponymous company, BRIAN MAYNOR and his FIND, FLATTER & FLAUNT line of image consulting services. A professional with a fresh, upbeat and down-to-earth personality and boundless creative energy, he works frequently with with local celebrities; Fortune 500 companies and nonprofit organizations; modeling agencies; fashion designers; production companies; record labels; media and individuals. A regular contributor to various fashion blogs and online communities, Brian Maynor is one of the most trusted and recognized style experts in the region, utilizing his education and training as a broadcast journalist to serve as a style lecturer, emcee, and commentator for over a decade. He has appeared at fashion shows, expos, and charity fundraisers, as well as events with big brands like Banana Republic, Ann Taylor, Chico’s and Macy’s. His approach is innovative, creative and fashion-forward, balancing fresh, modern styles with classic pieces to keep one’s look grounded. To learn more, visit http://www.brianmaynor.com.