The glories of “no”

By Jeff Becraft

The “no’s” of life can also be glorious.

None of us like a “no.”  There is the feeling of rejection, dejection, deflation, frustration, and extreme disappointment.  (And the list could go on.)

But that “no” can be like a pause in beautiful music.  The melody would not be as beautiful if it were not for the pause.

Sometimes “no’s” can enhance our desire and give us a greater appreciation of what we do desire… and of what we already have.  It can fuel perseverance and determination.  It can also cause us to let go of something that might not be the best.

More than once there has been frustration because the interstate is backed up on a long trip and this was certainly not in our plans.  But it has led to some of the most glorious times that Brenda and I have traveled in a car.  We get on back roads and see places and scenery we would have never seen before.  And the “no” becomes a grand adventure down roads that we really don’t even know where we are going.

If there had not been a “no,” we would never have even been on those roads.  We would have missed out.  We would simply have settled for the routine and what we were used to.

Back when I was 20 years old, a girl who I dated for over three years put me on waivers.  (In law, this term means “an intentional relinquishment of some right, interest, or the like.”  In sports, it means the team lets you go.  You are free to be a free agent.)  In other words – she let me go.   It was a devastating “no.”

But that “no” led me to really reevaluate my life and the foundation that I was building my life on and to choose some positive changes in my life.  It also led me to meet someone else a year later – Brenda.

That devastating “no” contained its own glory and led to an even more glorious “yes” five years later when Brenda and I were married.

So when we face “no’s” in life… in the midst of the disappointment… don’t be overwhelmed with discouragement.  It is a pause in the music.  It has its own glory and sets up the beauty of the radiant notes yet to be played.

Jeff Becraft is the Interim Director of Our Place of Hope and the Director Emeritus for Youth Corps and has dedicated much of his life to helping shift the vision of people’s lives. Youth Corps is a life-changing leadership development experience that inspires high school students to be leaders in the Midlands and beyond. You can connect with Jeff at  [email protected].