Using crisis management skills to be a better friend

By Brian Maynor

 

Friendships aren’t, or shouldn’t be, compared to crises very often, but they are often the people we turn to when the you-know-what hits the fan.

Euripides said, “Friends show their love in times of trouble, not happiness” and it is during those times we need to be the best friends we can be and offer as much love and support as possible.

While lending emotional support is helpful, there are three key strategies from crisis management that translate to friendship as well.  Here what we need to know about being a better friend in times of crises:

1.   Be ready to commit to the friendship.  When we see someone going through a crisis, if we’re really their friend we don’t wait to be asked for help.  Instead, we reach out immediately, without hesitation, and are committed for the long run.  Letting someone know they are loved and not alone in their time of need is one of the best ways to show support.

2.    Commit to act.  Hugs and platitudes are comforting, but chances are our friends are going to need a lot more than that to get through their situation.  But we have to commit to helping very carefully.  As tempting as it may be to commit to anything they need, we need to be sure we can follow through with our commitment before we say anything.  One of the worst things we could do is have them rely on us and then not deliver.

3.    Listen and support.  As much as we may want to solve the problem, chances are that is not within our power.  However, what we can do is to show up and be present with our friend and listen to them.  This means not offering advice unless they ask for it.  When we let them know we hear their pain, they feel supported and loved.

Avoid say things like “this is what I” or “it will be alright”, because that immediately breaks our connection with them and their pain.  Instead thank them for feeling comfortable sharing, affirm what we hear them say and be honest.  Even if that means saying, “I just don’t know what to say.”

Understanding the power of our words is very important, especially when it comes to helping a friend through a crisis.  So it is important to never under estimate them.

We all go through rough times and it is during those times we find our true friends.  Being a true friend isn’t complicated or difficult.  In fact, it’s pretty simple when you break it down.

 

 

I’m always excited to hear from you, so please email your questions, quandaries and conundrums to [email protected].

 

About Brian Maynor

Brian Maynor has built a reputation as one of the leading style coaches in the Southeast and is quickly expanding his eponymous company, BRIAN MAYNOR and his FIND, FLATTER & FLAUNT line of image consulting services. A professional with a fresh, upbeat and down-to-earth personality and boundless creative energy, he works frequently with with local celebrities; Fortune 500 companies and nonprofit organizations; modeling agencies; fashion designers; production companies; record labels; media and individuals. A regular contributor to various fashion blogs and online communities, Brian Maynor is one of the most trusted and recognized style experts in the region, utilizing his education and training as a broadcast journalist to serve as a style lecturer, emcee, and commentator for over a decade. He has appeared at fashion shows, expos, and charity fundraisers, as well as events with big brands like Banana Republic, Ann Taylor, Chico’s and Macy’s. His approach is innovative, creative and fashion-forward, balancing fresh, modern styles with classic pieces to keep one’s look grounded. To learn more, visit http://www.brianmaynor.com.

 

Sign up here to start your free subscription to MidlandsLife!