Wedding Faux Pas

By Deborah O’Connor

‘Tis wedding season and there is no place like the south for a beautiful southern wedding! However, it is fraught with possible faux pas. Here is a list to help make your special day lovely, elegant, and etiquette friendly.

• Be on time. There is no excuse for being late and interrupting someone’s nuptials. It is rude, inappropriate, and unnecessary. If you are unavoidably late, stand in the back until the ceremony is over. Do not walk to your seat in the middle of the ceremony.

• Dress appropriately for the occasion. Remember, the bride is the star of the show, not you. There is no place for flashy, sexy, too tight or too short attire. Also, do not wear a white dress, that color is reserved for the bride. Avoid bright or garish colors. You are there to help celebrate and honor the couple, not to try to out-do them.

• Send your gift ahead of time. It is a real inconvenience to have to arrange to carry home a car full of gifts late at night after the wedding.

• If you have food allergies, it is up to you to inform the bride or groom. Most venues happily prepare a special meal for precisely this situation.

• A very big problem at weddings is over-indulging in alcohol. Yes, it is free, but that does not give you free license to drink as much as you possible can. I know someone who imbibed ten jello shots in less than an hour and passed out. Becoming drunk and rowdy is rude, obnoxious, and embarrassing. It isn’t your party, so be a decent guest and show some self-restraint. Also, eat while you are drinking. The food is free as well, so make an effort to continue eating and the alcohol won’t affect you as badly. And do remember that a DUI can change your life forever. This is a good reason to hire a car or have a reliable designated driver.

• Ladies, be mindful of the venue regarding your shoes. Yes, we all want to look lovely in our 3-inch heels that compliment our dress. But if they hurt, or you will be walking a long way to the venue, be smart and wear a pair of sandals until you arrive. You can slip into the ladies room and change into your other shoes for the ceremony. You can also put the sandals on again later to dance, or if there is grass or sand or pain. Don’t ruin your evening over a pair of shoes.

• There will always be unusual situations at weddings. There is weather (carry a small umbrella in your handbag), freezing cold temperatures (bring a warm wrap), and surprise visitors like insects. A friend received around 75 no-se-em bites on his neck in spite of using bug spray and had an allergic reaction.

• Most of us have lots of family at weddings, so be sure you have provided a place for guests to sit. Elderly and infirm guests cannot stand all evening, and no one really enjoys that. Reserve tables for those you know will need to be sitting a good deal of the time.

• Some weddings have receiving lines while others do not. It is your responsibility as a guest to speak to the bride and/or groom to thank them and tell them what a lovely party it is.

• Brides, send your thank-you notes as soon as possible after the wedding. You are officially allowed three months, but that is really too long for people to wait to hear from you. People are actually wondering if you received their gift. I called a bride after four months, thinking she did not receive my lovely gift. She did receive it, but had been ‘busy’.

 

As we are right in the middle of wedding season, with a little forethought and good common sense, you can enjoy every occasion.

 

 

Please feel free to send questions to Deborah at: www.successfulimage.biz.

She will answer them in her weekly column.

 

Deborah O’Connor is a social strategist and founder and president of Successful Image LLC with offices in Columbia and Atlanta. She offers training and seminars on image management, workplace etiquette, and social skills necessary to succeed in life professionally and personally. Contact at:  [email protected]        www.successfulimage.biz