An Eiffel Tower Over The Congaree

By Tom Poland

 

Would Turn Columbia into the Paris of the South

Many years ago I read that two cities share a common geography. Both sit on a plateau of sorts that overlooks a basin. This geography carries a name, teacup basin. Two cities sitting over teacup basins happen to be Paris and Columbia. And these cities happen to share more than a few situations. The Congaree River runs through the city. The Seine runs through Paris. Paris has canals and so does Columbia. Paris has the Louvre and Columbia has the State Museum and its observatory, planetarium, and 4-D theater. Columbia is the capital of South Carolina and Paris is the capital of France.

Of course I am simplifying things a bit and perhaps here’s a column where you can feel free to say I’m crazy. I promise you I won’t mind. I say it’s time for Cola Town to do something big. Really big. Forget the baseball stadium. Build an Eiffel Tower and let it straddle the Congaree near the New Orleans restaurant’s old site. Build an exact replica of that ornate iron lattice tower and let one side rest in Lexington County and the other in Richland County. We, too, could have a Left Bank and a Right Bank. Let the Congaree run through its base. What a sight it would be to see. When it was built it costs $1.5 million in US dollars. Today it would take $92 million to build a replica, at least that’s the answer given on one website devoted to the Eiffel Tower. It’d be worth it. Today the Eiffel Tower is the number one site in the world when it comes to paying visitors. Wouldn’t take long to recoup the money spent building it.

 

It’s time to do something big in Columbia.  Photo by Tom Poland

 

The tallest office building in the state is Columbia’s Capitol Center at 349 feet. At 986 feet high, (1,063 feet including the antenna) our Eiffel Tower would be visible from I-20, I-26, I-77, and Lake Murray. Just imagine what it would look like at night, bathed in golden light and twinkling with its own lights. Imagine lasers shooting from its pinnacle. Imagine wi-fi and telecommunication technologies at its pinnacle, from which you could see 42 miles. Imagine river cruises down the Congaree. Imagine the restaurants and bars that could go in it. Imagine walking above the Congaree hearing the white noise of rushing water. I don’t even care if a few mimes work its crowds, though I’ve always found mimes a bit silly. Coffee shops, bistros, sidewalk cafes, artists, musicians, writers, kayakers, boaters, and love-struck couples—all that and more would flock around the tower. What a boost, too, it would be to convention centers.

I’ve been working on a book about Columbia and one thing I’ve turned up is what I’ll refer to as an inferiority complex. Going to Charleston feels a bit like being abroad. In Greenville, Falls Park brings soothing white noise to the city, and you can see Appalachia’s blue-green peaks in the distance. Situated between the tourist-luring Atlantic and the mountains, Columbia, people claim, bores and swelters. Thus, some say an inferiority complex dogs Columbia. I don’t think that is anywhere near the truth. Still, we all remember when Charleston Post & Courier columnist Brian Hicks skewered Columbia, writing: “The city likes to brag that it has the top tourist attraction in the state—the Riverbanks Zoo. It is, to be sure, a very nice place. Stop and see it if you’re in Columbia and bored. Which you will be.”

Need more? Try this from Hicks: “Columbia is a town of tradition. Every Friday in the fall, you can hear a recording of a rooster crowing through downtown. It gets the locals excited about whoever was coming to town to play the Gamecocks that weekend—sometimes even on national TV! So come to Columbia: Two hours from the mountains. Two hours from the beach. Minutes from Irmo.”

Forget Hicks and forget the baseball stadium. I say let’s build an Eiffel Tower over the Congaree and change Columbia from the city of slights to the city of lights. Why not? Anything is possible. Up in north Georgia a logging town once upon a time found itself in decline. That’s when Helen, Georgia, re-invented itself as a Bavarian village. The official website of Helen, Georgia, tells how it rejuvenated itself.

“In January 1969, three Helen businessmen were meeting at a local restaurant. They were wondering if there wasn’t some way to spruce up the old main street and encourage the tourists to stop on their way north into the mountains. One suggested he would speak with an artist that he knew from church in Clarkesville. That artist was John Kollock, whose family had deep roots in the area. John agreed to take some photos and draw up some sketches. He was inspired by seeing the town nestled in a small mountain valley and recalled his time in service in Germany and his visits to Bavarian towns in similar mountain valleys. The resulting sketches were well received by the citizens and the merchants.

“By the fall of 1969, Helen had reinvented itself and many of the old buildings had new facades. The fall leaf season brought new visitors and later new merchants as well. Over the last 40 years the town has grown dramatically adding new ventures, shops, and venues with varying amounts of success. The story of Helen’s reinvention is one of local entrepreneurship and civic cooperation that changed a dying lumber town into Georgia’s third most visited city.”

There you go. Sure it will cost a fortune. One estimate I saw put the cost at $92 million but that seems ridiculously low. Even so my hope is that some of you businessmen and architects with vision will not think I’m crazy and get the ball rolling. Forget the baseball stadium. How many do we need anyway? At best, a stadium would be a spring-summer venue. An Eiffel Tower? It would be hopping all year long and if we build it, the world will come to Columbia, the Paris of the South. I guarantee you people from Charleston, Greenville, and points beyond would come. And if a mime or two makes the scene, well, I could handle it.

 

Visit Tom Poland’s website at www.tompoland.net
Email Tom about most anything. [email protected]

Tom Poland is the author of eight books and more than 700 magazine features. A Southern writer, his work has appeared in magazines throughout the South. The University of South Carolina Press has released his and Robert Clark’s book, Reflections Of South Carolina, Vol. II. The History Press of Charleston just released his book, Classic Carolina Road Trips From Columbia. He writes a weekly column for newspapers in Georgia and South Carolina about the South, its people, traditions, lifestyle, and changing culture.

 

Sign up here to start your free subscription to MidlandsLife!