Chomp!

By Ron Aiken

 

Summertime! Watermelons! No Name Deli!

Indeed we are in the full throat of summer, which means watermelons! You’re passing them in the grocery store, giving them that long, slow look, knowing you want one. So do it! For your children, for your family, for yourself!

In Chomp!’s world, we use the whole watermelon, as you may recall from Chomp! columns of the past. That means first you cut it in half, and this time we got a WHOPPER! I then cut the halved section in half again vertically, then carefully cut out the red meaty part from the rind.

For the fruit, I try to cut it into cubes or other fun shapes about an inch or an inch-and-a-half wide. You can roll however you like on that; Chomp! just likes to get a big mouthful of tasty watermelon and doesn’t like to be cheated of the experience. Just like you!

 

Here’s the watermelon! Look how it dwarfs the coffee pot in the background! Behold it’s massive proportions!

Here’s the juicy fruit part I’ve cubed. This was how much I had left over from half the watermelon minus a few tasting samples to ensure deliciousness and a large plate I put out for everyone. I sprinkle them with sugar before putting the lid on and popping it in the refrigerator.

 

Now, for the pickling of the rinds! If you remember, I take the outer skin off with either a paring knife or peeler or sharp knife or whatever’s handy. One thing I can tell you from experience is that if you put them in the disposal, do so in small amounts, chopping vigorously, rather than all at once, like Chomp! Did. It resulted in a trip to the grocery for Draino and not-very-pleasant milky green water that backed up in the sink. Yuck!

So, we’ve gotten that skin off, just like we would with a cucumber pickle, and now we just make the pickles in whatever fun shapes we want! To the pickles I added simply white vinegar and McCormick’s brand pickling spices from the grocery store. That’s it! Then you have these!

 

Pickled rinds! There is no better pickle in the world. You’ll notice how I try to leave on some red watermelon fruit as I think the sweetness adds SO MUCH to the flavor of the pickle!

Here’s how much I had to put in the refrigerator using just one half of the watermelon.

 

AN IMPORTANT NOTE ABOUT WATERMELON RIND PICKLES: Chomp! is sad to report that if you have a family, not everyone in that family will be as cuckoo for cocoa puffs over the watermelon rinds as you will be. It is true. In fact, as of right now, Chomp! is a rather depressing 0-for-2 in his conversion attempts, and this includes the two eaters I would classify as BY FAR the most adventurous. The teenager who likes his hamburgers this way, SEE BELOW, I’m not even going to bother with, so my last hope is my beautiful 9-year-old who happens to love pickles in general. Pray for Chomp!

 

What am I supposed to do with someone who likes hamburgers like this??? Seriously, I’m not even kidding. I need help. What can I do?

 

I know ONE THING you can do, and that’s take them to No Name Deli, which is where this particular hamburger came from. And while your children enjoy the plainer fare, you can get something fantastic like this!

 

This is No Name Deli‘s rather famous Greek Salad. It has beets! I got it with chicken, which I highly recommend you do as well, because it was moist and delicious!

 

So, good people, go forth and purchase that watermelon and please your friends, family and loved ones. They’ll enjoy the fruit, and perhaps along the way you can make a convert of a soul or two to the way of the pickled rinds. In Chomp!’s house, it looks like it’s going to be a long summer of eating whole vats of homemade pickles by myself, a la Andy Griffith. Oh well, at least I’m in good company. Til next week, when Chomp! will be in Disney World!

 

 

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