Chomp!

By Ron Aiken
November 29, 2013

Let’s Have Brunch!!!

Do I want to do brunch? Do I want to do brunch? Are you kidding me?

Does a bear like to eat in the woods? And then later, does that same bear have to rid himself of that same food in that most private of ways understandable across the animal kingdom and, embarrassed by the act itself but having no privacy, no knowledge of what a bathroom is or how to break into one – much less use it successfully – nor possessing any home other than the woods he lives in, commit said act in said woods?

We all know he does.

So let’s do brunch, y’all!

But where? Since brunch in the woods is generally a disappointment, I have learned (the service is wretched, and we already know about the bathrooms), Chomp! Is going to recommend a place that only recently (within the last six weeks) began serving brunch on Sundays: Julep’s Bistro (the former Mint Julep) off Clemson Road near I-20 at 120 Sparkleberry Crossing Drive.

Owned and operated by Uncle ‘M’ – he’s quite mysterious about his last name, but through our connections we did learn the M stands for Matt – Mint Julep brunch drew a brisk crowd on a recent Sunday afternoon and Chomp! Can understand why – our food was superb and was enhanced by terrific live music from Lance Roper and Kathy Jansen, who seemed to hit every one of Chomp!’s favorite singalongs from the 1970s and 80s (Carly Simon’s Anticipation and John Denver’s Country Road, which, now that you’ve thought of it, Chomp! knows you will have in your head the rest of the day. You’re welcome.)

But there’s food to talk about! So let’s talk about the food!

Chomp! Is a major league fan of Eggs Benedict. You minor leaguers can sit on it and rotate, because I am a major leaguer and I brook none of your minor league foolishness. Not when it comes to Eggs Benedict. Not now. Not ever.

Of course you know that Eggs Benedict consists of poached eggs over an English muffin topped with Hollandaise sauce often garnished with ham, bacon or some other creative topping/protein. In my case, I got the Crabcake Benedict, which was your classic Eggs Benedict topped with a gorgeous, fluffy crabcake and wilted spinach. It came with hash browns and fresh fruit and looked exactly like this:

My girlfriend, Leesa (whose 17-year-old son Jacob – full disclosure – works in the kitchen and makes pizzas, salads and, on Sundays, waffles, fruit bowls and toast), ordered the Bananas Foster french toast (they also have a Strawberry Fields french toast and a Red Velvet Waffle that’s homemade and comes with a cream-cheese drizzle), which she devoured in the most ladylike way possible. I believe most women would agree there is a line between ladylike and un-ladylike, and being a man and not really knowing where that line is, I’m only speculating when I say there may have been a moment or two when she may have come near that line while eating her french toast, because I am here to tell you, that was some sweet french toast, the kind I think would challenge anyone, lady or not, to consume in an appropriately patient way.

I challenge you because I know you will fail, just as we did, because seriously, LOOK AT THIS!

Chomp! is a recommending soul, and he cannot recommend Julep’s Bistro for brunch more highly – it’s a casual elegant setting and the atmosphere is brightly colored and cheerful. The music was wonderful and added a beautiful touch, and our server, Tristany, was a dee-light – very cool, very helpful with suggestions, finishing her degree in elementary education at USC and attentive with the coffee refills.

Until next time, Chomp! Hopes your Thanksgiving was spectacular, and is himself extremely thankful you’ve taken the time to read this. Bless you and your silly ways that Chomp! won’t tell on unless you really want it to get out. In which case I will. Just ask bears, who I tell on regularly.

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