Dating Advice: Dear Debby and Jerry
December 6, 2013
December 6, 2013
Dear Debby and Jerry,
A lifetime ago, I worked as an escort. No, I was not a prostitute, but I did accept money for ‘dates.’ This was over 30 years ago, and I have put this all behind me — I thought. Recently, my best friend and I went on a double date with men we met on a dating site. The guy my friend was with that night looked very familiar. It’s hard to tell, but I believe he was one of my ‘dates’ from that time so long ago. He kept looking at me (and I at him), and neither one of us acknowledged anything, but I wonder if it will haunt me as he remembers the past.What should I do? I have lived a spotless life since then, and have never returned to my past life in any way, shape or form. I believe I should deny anything if I am confronted — by him or anyone else. Do you think this is the right way to handle this? Help, please, I am haunted by my past and do not want to suffer any consequences. What should I do?
Sincerely changed,
– Bethany, Rock Hill. SC
Dear Bethany,
I am not sure why you would want to deny an honest day’s work that did not involve being what Charles Dickens called, a soiled dove of the lamp post. By all means, if the subject comes up, tell the truth or you might preempt the matter at an appropriate moment by relating the story in a clinical manner. My guess is that his life may be even less spotless and you will find out his level of being non-judgmental.
– Jerry
Dear Bethany,
I understand why you are upset. This is a part of your past and you want to put it behind you. Perhaps he feels the same way you do, so I would not say anything at this point. You have a new life and it sounds as if you have moved on from your past. If it indeed comes back to haunt you, as it invariably will, you will have to make a decision at the time. Good luck to you.
– Debby
Dear Debby and Jerry,
I have a naughty little secret– a tattoo in a most private place. This would not matter (much) except that I have met a very nice man on an Internet date site, and we are becoming quite close. He is a bit conservative, and I don’t want him to be shocked when we finally become intimate. Shall I tell him beforehand, or wait for the surprise? By the way, it is a tastefully done tattoo of a woman in ecstasy, but the location of the tattoo is surprisingly intimate.Thanks for your help.
– Judith, Pawley’s Island, SC
Dear Judith,
My goodness, didn’t your mother tell you about the permanency of tattoos and the changing aspects of your life? Oh well, let him discover it. Or better, you might tell him about it beforehand and let his curiosity overcome his conservative streak which might add to his mounting anticipation of discovery and an anti-climatic moment when finally discovered.
– Jerry
Dear Judith,
Lucky for you tattoos are quite popular. And I do agree with Jerry in that you should tell him beforehand. I think most men are understanding about tattoos in an intimate area. If he isn’t, move on and find someone who accepts you for who you are.
– Debby
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