Dating Advice: Dear Debby and Jerry
October 11, 2013
October 11, 2013
Dear Debby and Jerry,
Many years ago, when I was a different person, I committed a crime. And, I paid for it with a short prison term. No, I am not a murderer, but stupidly, I was involved with drugs (cocaine) and was convicted of selling it. I spent 1 1/2 years of a three-year sentence, and since then I have never gone back to drugs or crime. Fast forward twenty years, and here I am, working for a small corporation with a fairly good income. I am in sales, and I do pretty well. Of course, I had to disclose my past sins when I applied to the company, but I have worked my way up to a secure position and I like my job and my co-workers. I know that nothing is really secret, on a job site or in any neighborhood, but I don’t come right out and tell people about my criminal past. I am worried about those questionnaires on dating sites. Do they ask about criminal history? And, do I have to be honest? What should I do about this — I want to date again, but I don’t want to put myself out there as a former drug dealer. Help me, please.
Fontaine, Charlotte, NC
Dear Fontaine,
First, we have not seen any on-line dating sites that ask about a criminal record. Hence, this should not cause you any apprehension if you decide to subscribe to an on-line dating site. Besides having served prison time for your wrongdoing, you seem to have reformed and become a contributing citizen to society. Have you taken the opportunity to work with any organizations trying to prevent young people from drug involvement? This might round off your past actions in a more favorable way if I may make a suggestion of this sort. Within the first conversations you have with those you meet through on-line dating, you should as a matter of fact bring this subject up and tell your true story. There are numerous glass houses built by those you meet and stones are more reluctantly thrown than you might think.
Jerry
Dear Fontaine,
I admire your honesty and you do seem to have a great attitude. You have certainly strived to change your life and have worked hard at changing your circumstances. Jerry’s suggestion that you do volunteer work in the community to help prevent young people from drug involvement is a good one. You also might inquire within your company to see if there are funds allocated for charitable events that you might participate in. Definitely be honest and up-front with anyone you meet on a dating site. I wish you the best and commend you for your honesty.
Debby
Do you agree with Debby or Jerry? Readers are asked to voice their opinion by sending an email to:[email protected]
Share your questions or stories by sending an email to: [email protected]. Or mail your questions and comments to: Dear Debby and Jerry, 701 Gervais Street, Suite 150-197, Columbia, SC 29201. They will answer them anonymously in next week’s column.
Sign up here to receive MidlandsLife weekly email magazine.
