Look What I Found!

By Amy Coward

The little girl came up to me at the pool and said, “Look what I found!” I didn’t know the child, but peered into her tiny, cupped hands to see a small brown moth. I said, “Oh, it’s a moth!” She politely corrected me, “It’s a butterfly!” She smiled and ran to show her prize to someone else.

I loved it when my own kids were little. All the discoveries. All the excitement over the smallest thing. It was great being a mom. But let’s be honest. It was also exhausting. The butterfly girl’s mom had probably spent an hour getting everything together to go to the pool – all the toys and goggles and towels. I remember that part well too.

Even vacations were tiring. When the kids were little, it took days to think of everything we would need for a week at the beach – buckets and shovels, beach towels and umbrellas, boogie boards and beach balls. Every minute was filled with some activity.

Today, though, things are different. Things change when your kids are grown and vacations have a whole different flavor – that is, if you vacation together as we still do. Yes, they might be crazy busy the rest of the year, but you mention the beach and suddenly the kids’ schedules are clear. There’s just something about a week in the sun and surf that none of us can resist. Or is it because I’m paying for it? No, we won’t go there. We’ll stick with the idea that they like coming along.

Every year, I rent a condo and haul a tent, chairs and a stack of books to the beach. I take snacks and a few adult beverages (that oddly enough my children are now old enough to consume). The week is mine to spend as I like – with my nose in a book. And as weird as it feels, I’m no longer required to serve as Activities Director for the family.

We definitely have different ideas as to how to spend our time. I’m up at dawn to walk or run at the beach. The kids are sleeping late, going to the gym or out to breakfast. I’m at the condo for lunch. They’re just heading to the beach. Where once there was a kid’s plate for dinner, now they want the giant seafood platter. And most importantly, I’m reading myself to sleep at 9 p.m. They’re going “out” and will see me in the morning.

With all of our different schedules and habits, it can be tricky to be compatible roommates. I have to tell myself the kitchen can be messy – it’s vacation. Or, there can be empty soft drink cans in the living room – it’s vacation. I try to let go of my pet peeves a little for that one week. In fact, we’re all secretly doing that.

Now that I’m taking my vacations with adult children, I feel like I’m the one making all the discoveries. Beyond all the little things, I’m discovering who my kids really are. And lucky me, they’re really cool, young people who are smart and fun to be around – even for a full week at the beach under the same roof. And these days, they might not come to me with every new thing they discover (and that’s probably a good thing), but they let me nap guilt-free and for that, I’m grateful.

Amy Coward is a public relations professional in Columbia, SC. When she is not managing the madness of event planning at Palmetto Health Foundation, she is turning her empty nest upside down looking for fun and finding it. 

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