Kathleen Parker November 1, 2013

Ms. Know-It-All, the anonymous political advice columnist whoseidentity remains a popular Georgetown cocktail party guessing game, isknown to live up to her title now and then. Herewith a correspondenceworth sharing.

Dear Ms. Know-It-All:

It appears the witch Hillary Rodham Clinton is going to run for president. Itmakes my skin crawl to think of her and that husband of hers back in our White House, not to mention that they are Marxists like Obama and wantto turn us into Sweden, for God’s sake. It’s not too soon forRepublicans to marshal our forces for a little shock and awe when theHildebeast finally announces. How can we stop her?

Signed, A proud, God-fearing, right-wing wacko bird.

Dear Wacko:

Thank you for what seems to be your sincere interest in participating in ourcountry’s health and welfare. And thanks, too, for contacting me,because you need to hear what I have to say. You might want to sit downfor this. If you’re on anti-anxiety medication, all the better.

You are, how shall I put this? Idiotic seems too strong, so I’ll go with a foolish little man.

“The witch Hillary”? Yes, I saw the little photo on Drudge with Hillary wearing a witch’s hat. Clever! And on Halloween, too. The headline suggested that someone somewhereshould be upset that she apparently earned close to $500,000 for twospeeches for Goldman Sachs.

I do believe I detect the scent of envy. Is that the best you’vegot? I don’t think I heard you folks express outrage when Sarah Palinwas paid $100,000 a clip, and she was just a short-term governor and a failed vice-presidential candidate. Ronald Reagan once was paid $2 million for two 20-minute speeches by a Japanese manufacturing company.

You get my drift. Speakers are commodities, and they earnwhat they’re worth to an audience. A former U.S. senator and secretaryof state who also was once first lady is not a coupon item.

Tothe larger point, you must stop witchifying this woman. She has one ofthe best résumés in the country, certainly compared to anyone who mightchallenge her. This doesn’t speak to her personality, which seems toaggravate a certain kind of male, or to her involvement with issues that have inspired legitimate criticism. But in hurling personal insults,you are hurting only yourself. The bully always looks worse than thebullied. In so doing, you not only seem juvenile but also look petty and bereft of substantive arguments. While you consider this assessment,imagine how much Hillary must welcome such school-yard taunts.

Pivot now to your less-than-sterling record with female voters. Does the “war on women” ring a bell? I understand that this was mainly a fictioncreated by the Obama campaign (brilliant, I must say), but you had somehelp from a couple of star witnesses regarding “legitimate rape” and God’s will when a rape victim becomes pregnant. Why, do tell, would you besurprised that women who value their autonomy in making the mostpersonal decisions might view such statements as “war”?

My point: Don’t attack a woman as a woman. No allusions to awful female characters or anything to do with her appearance. If you have to resort to commentary about someone’spersonal attributes, assuming they’re not wearing ridiculous head gear,you are signaling that you have no arrows in your quiver.

This is especially relevant to female candidates for two reasons. One, menbeating up a woman summons a number of associations that only make women recoil in revulsion. Two, while you were hunkering in your duck blind,women the world over were getting busy organizing and helping eachother. There’s a global movement afoot in which Hillary Clinton hasplayed a crucial part. If you attack her, all but the most rigidlyideological women will circle the wagons, and you will lose. On thebright side, you won’t have to worry anymore about birth control. Yourown, that is.

At the moment, though Hillary’s ratings haveslipped a bit, today’s GOP holds the distinction of being among thefirst parties in polling history to have a negative rating higher than50 percent (53), according to a Wall Street Journal/NBC News survey. Thus, my advice: Marshal your sharpest thinkers and create a productpeople want. If you can’t win with the strength of your arguments andthe clarity of your vision, you can at least lose with your dignityintact — a decent start to a much-needed Republican Reformation. Goodluck.