Never Say Never

By Amy Coward

The couple boarded the elevator in their motorized scooters. They were headed back to their apartment after lunch, both in seemingly good spirits talking about their plans for the day. I stared at their shiny red transportation wondering why they couldn’t walk – or why they chose not to.

When I visit my mother in the independent senior community in which she lives, I am confronted with what faces all of us – aging. There are lots of people with walkers and motorized scooters. There are a lot of gray haired ladies. There are mini-buses that take people to Walmart and doors that open automatically. Part of me scoffs at this type of living and says, “I’ll never live in a place like that!” But I also remember saying, “My child will never behave like that.” Hmmm…never say never.

When my mother chose this community a couple of years ago, she was living in a retirement community already, but her home required a good deal of maintenance. It was taxing and stressful. This new apartment-style facility has all the maintenance included – beautifully landscaped lawns, a glistening pool surrounded by palm trees, warm and inviting living areas, game rooms, even a gym! When you’ve worked all your life and kept up a home and yard for years, there comes a time when you say, “Enough!” and move to the resort-style life, if you can.

I, on the other hand, have always thought I was somewhat invincible. Never aging. Never sick. Living on my own indefinitely. But I may need a reality check.

I may need to admit that someday I’ll be tired of keeping up a garden. Someday I may not want to prepare a massive holiday dinner. Someday I may get sick of dealing with household repairs.  Hmmm…as I write this I worry I may already be there.

I need to realize that I, too, will have gray hair soon. (Probably as soon as I give up the bottle of blonde!) And that mobility may one day become an issue. I may think I’m going to stay in my house forever, but fate sometimes has other ideas.

And as for senior living communities, there are worse things than having your dinner prepared for you and friends to enjoy it with. There are worse things than doing water aerobics on Mondays and Wednesdays and being “the champ” of Wii bowling on Tuesdays and Thursdays. There are worse things than having someone miss you when you don’t come down to breakfast.

So while I might not sign up for the motorized scooter parade or leading the afternoon sing-a-long, I may be okay lounging by the pool reading a book or joining in a scrabble tournament.

And if the gym is open on Saturdays, you may even find me there too.

Until the day arrives when I have to decide, I’ll try to keep my grumbling about home repairs and gardening to myself. And when I’ve had “enough!” you’ll know where to find me.

Amy Coward is a public relations professional in Columbia, SC. When she is not managing the madness of event planning at Palmetto Health Foundation, she is turning her empty nest upside down looking for fun and finding it.