Understanding our resistance to change and dealing with it
January 2, 2019
By Brian Maynor
Celebrating a new year is fun, but it’s also motivational. We see the new year as a chance for making changes in our lives, and even make resolutions in an effort to force ourselves to realize them.
Yet how often does that actually work? Some people never get past the idea of change, while others work towards it, only to give up later down the road. Not only does change take work, it takes commitment. So if we’re resistant to the change from the beginning we are essentially setting ourselves up to fail.
This year let’s stack the deck in our favor.
Here are four ways we can understand our reticence and deal with it so that we can make the changes we want to see happen in 2019:
1. Identify the reason for our resistance. This isn’t as easy as it seems. Feeling resistant is easy, but exploring the reason for it takes time and a certain amount of self-awareness. It also requires commitment, because most of the time we have to dig through a lot of easy answers to get to the root reason.
2. Question the basis of our reaction. When it comes down to it, most of the time our reactions to change are based on presumptions that we have convinced ourselves are true with little to no basis. Instead of relying on the stories of others, we need to find our own answers, which means asking our own questions.
3. Own our part in the process. Yes, there are times when we are victims of a situation, but most of the time we played a role in creating them. Owning our part is essential for dealing with it, whether it was our attitude or our behavior. Given that our feelings influence both of them, taking time to reflect on them is a key step in the process.
4. Adjust our attitude. It’s not always easy to pull out a positive attitude in the face of change, especially when we aren’t onboard with it, but that’s exactly what we should do. Just like our feelings impact our behaviors, so does our attitude. A positive attitude is far more likely to help us uncover opportunities than an a negative one.
Staring change in the face can make us feel powerless, but through these four steps we can not only reclaim our power, we can create a plan of action to embrace it. Change, even the kind we’re resistant to, can create opportunities for us to shine and grow.
I’m always excited to hear from you, so please email your questions, quandaries and conundrums to [email protected].
About Brian Maynor
Brian Maynor has built a reputation as one of the leading style coaches in the Southeast and is quickly expanding his eponymous company, BRIAN MAYNOR and his FIND, FLATTER & FLAUNT line of image consulting services. A professional with a fresh, upbeat and down-to-earth personality and boundless creative energy, he works frequently with with local celebrities; Fortune 500 companies and nonprofit organizations; modeling agencies; fashion designers; production companies; record labels; media and individuals. A regular contributor to various fashion blogs and online communities, Brian Maynor is one of the most trusted and recognized style experts in the region, utilizing his education and training as a broadcast journalist to serve as a style lecturer, emcee, and commentator for over a decade. He has appeared at fashion shows, expos, and charity fundraisers, as well as events with big brands like Banana Republic, Ann Taylor, Chico’s and Macy’s. His approach is innovative, creative and fashion-forward, balancing fresh, modern styles with classic pieces to keep one’s look grounded. To learn more, visit http://www.brianmaynor.com.
