The art of communication

By Jeff Becraft

One Friday, I decided to go out for lunch. I don’t do this a whole lot; I usually pack a lunch. But lately I have enjoyed going out once in a while and getting some sort of fast-food lunch.

On this particular Friday, I went to a sub place. It was a little bit later for a lunchtime for me, and so I was a little bit foggy headed and my mind was still on work stuff as well. I get up to the counter and a polite young man is there to take my order. But he is talking really low and he is kind of talking in mumbles. I really can’t understand what he is saying to me but I don’t want to keep asking him, “What did you say?”

I assume he has asked me for my order… and so I give him the order.

He then asks me another question. I have no idea what he has said to me. I am thinking it has got to be that he has asked me if I want it to be a combo. That is my assumption to be the next logical question on the agenda in this nebulous conversation.

So I respond, “No.”

He then looks back at me with a very perplexed look on his face and asks in a very confused sort of voice, “There’s no name for the order?”

To which I respond, “Oh… the name is Jeff.”

I then add on, “I’m sorry. I’m old and grumpy and I can’t see or hear.”

To which he then says in the most sincere and genuine voice, “That’s okay… just take your time.”

Inside, I am just smiling.

When I get home that night, I am telling my wife this story and she just bursts out laughing.

Brenda has said to me more than once, “You need to quit smiling and nodding when somebody says something to you and you don’t know what they are saying, because you have no idea what you are agreeing to.” Which is probably true.

As George Bernard Shaw said, “The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” Miscommunication can certainly cause various problems in our lives, some of them very hurtful.

I have heard (did you hear that?… I have heard) more than one person in this early part of this year talk about the importance of listening. This goes beyond hearing and goes beyond whether the person is speaking up or mumbling or whatever. It involves understanding. It is important to listen to more than just the words, but to also listen to a person’s feelings.

And if we mess up in communication?… Well, we can say we are sorry and try again, communicating in love and not in anger. Communication is one of those things that only improves with practice.

Jeff Becraft is the Director of Our Place of Hope located in Columbia, South Carolina, where people find encouragement to regain meaning, purpose, and hope for their lives. Jeff has dedicated much of his life to helping shift the vision of people’s lives. If you would like Jeff to speak to your group or event, you can connect with him at  [email protected].