Affecting Change In The Face Of Resistance – It’s Tricky But Not Impossible
November 4, 2014By Brian Maynor
It’s easy to be effective when people are motivated for change, but what do you do when they aren’t?
As an image consultant I’ve faced this issue when clients have been sent to me via third parties and they feel like there is nothing wrong with their image, but the fact is this issue is quite common for anyone in a management position. Not everyone is going to be happy with change or embrace it as a positive, but sometimes you need their support to make it successful. So what are you suppose to do?
In a recent article I read on HBR.org, Coaching an Employee Who Doesn’t Want Help, Amy Gallo lays out findings from experts and research that sheds light on the issue and offers tips on dealing with it. While the focus was on professional coaching, I found the principles to be universal and work great when faced with the need to persuade a reluctant party in just about any situation. Here’s the breakdown:
1. It’s not just a one-sided issue. The reluctant party is only one part of the situation, the motivator is also a part and they both share responsibility for reaching the goal. While it’s easy to paint the resistor as the one with ‘the problem’ that won’t help achieve your goal, and coming in with an ‘I’m right and you’re wrong’ mentality accomplishes nothing. In fact the other party will just shut down or worse dig in their heels and actively oppose any change.
2. Communication is key. Several of Amy’s points boil down to communication, namely uncovering the reason for the resistance by asking the right types of questions and being forthcoming with your intentions. The most effective way to elicit conversation and discover the rational behind the resistance is to ask open-ended questions. ‘What’ and ‘How’ questions start a conversation ‘Yes’ and ‘No’ questions shut it down. Also it’s much easier to resist things we don’t understand or trust, so clearly explaining the goals and reason for the change will go a long way in establishing trust. Showing appreciation and value will also reinforce trust and open the door for change.
3. You can’t force it. This point doesn’t necessarily hold true from all standpoints because management can set the rules and hold everyone accountable without their by in, it just isn’t a seamless process. You will need to be prepared for addressing resistance and decide is strict compliance is the most important goal. When the goal is more than that the issue goes back to trust, which can never be forced.
We’ve talked about change being a slow process, but it can also be a reluctant one. Not everyone embraces change willingly, but the hallmark of a good leader and coach is finding ways of achieving change in spite of that reluctance.
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About Brian Maynor
Brian Maynor has built a reputation as one of the leading style coaches in the Southeast and is quickly expanding his eponymous company, BRIAN MAYNOR and his FIND, FLATTER & FLAUNT line of image consulting services. A professional with a fresh, upbeat and down-to-earth personality and boundless creative energy, he works frequently with with local celebrities; Fortune 500 companies and nonprofit organizations; modeling agencies; fashion designers; production companies; record labels; media and individuals. A regular contributor to various fashion blogs and online communities, Brian Maynor is one of the most trusted and recognized style experts in the region, utilizing his education and training as a broadcast journalist to serve as a style lecturer, emcee, and commentator for over a decade. He has appeared at fashion shows, expos, and charity fundraisers, as well as events with big brands like Banana Republic, Ann Taylor, Chico’s and Macy’s. His approach is innovative, creative and fashion-forward, balancing fresh, modern styles with classic pieces to keep one’s look grounded. To learn more, visit http://www.brianmaynor.com.