Dating Advice: Dear Debby and Jerry
September 20, 2013
September 20, 2013
Dear Debby and Jerry,
I am spiritual, but not considered ‘religious.’ In other words, I do not go to church or believe in organized religion. Maybe because I live in the south, where religion is important, this is hindering my ability to meet someone. I don’t want to lie to people to get a date, but potential daters don’t seem to understand this aspect of my life and think I am an atheist (which I am not) if I don’t list a church or religion, when asked. I don’t want to move from my beloved southern small town, but I cannot seem to meet someone who shares my beliefs. What can I do?
Spiritual and Southern in Camden, SC
Dear Spiritual and Southern,
You might consider your spirituality as only one attribute being viewed by a potential date. Also, you might be surprised by the number of potential dates who look more favorably toward those who live a good life rather than those who profess living a good life. Some on-line subscribers when asked their religion fill in that blank or question with, “tell you later”. You might consider this as an option. In our society one’s religion or belief is both personal and varied and no apologies are necessary. Stay the course with your true beliefs and someone in your community (or beyond) will favor you. Otherwise, you will fall into the category of a hypocrite, not a title favored by any religion.
Jerry
Dear Spiritual and Southern,
I don’t think this needs to be a major issue in your dating life. You are being honest in your profile and no one can ask for more. I think if you keep dating that you will eventually meet a wonderful person who shares your beliefs or at least understands them. You have every right to your personal religious doctrines and you do not need to compromise them for anyone. However, in a new relationship there are always issues that come up, and you need to be prepared for this. Compromise is often necessary, and being harsh and unyielding is never a good idea. Blending two lives always takes some adjustment but the rewards are great.
Debby
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Share your questions or stories by sending an email to: [email protected]. Or mail your questions and comments to: Dear Debby and Jerry, 701 Gervais Street, Suite 150-197, Columbia, SC 29201. They will answer them anonymously in next week’s column.
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